The Whites

Keeping my promise!

2012-02-01T15:01:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon to everyone! We have had an usual winter. Not much snow or rain for that matter. Not even that cold. This week it has been around the 30 and 40's. Not bad for winter weather. We had a couple of days of snow. It was beautiful to watch and see it come down. The grandkids called Papa to see if they could come out to the house and snowmobile. Of course! We made some pizza and hot co. Had a great afternoon. The sun has been out a good part of the days and we have some wind but not too bad.

As far as my health I have been off and on. Today is a good day. I wish I could sleep. I get about 4 hours of sleep, interrputed. (My spelling is off so please read through it.) My biggest reaction to my treatment is I have sweats and then go to being cold. Also I have pain that go's across my forehead and on hope of my brain. The pain moves to the tumurs and in mean't to kill the cancer cells. It's what it's suppose to be doing so I am excited for that. I can certainly put up with pain to get well. I have one more week of steriods left. Calvin and I went to Seattle to see my doctors over there Jan. 11th. I think I may have told you. Had a good appt. They told me I didn't need to come back until March. That's a good report. They said my tumors are looking a tiny bit better, but I'm not over with them. I was not expecting to be. "Come on guys." They are not bearers of new news!

I feel in my heart that the Lord is blessing me so much. I could be so much worse. I am great! I continuely thank you for your prayers. What a wonderful blessing to belong to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am so thankful that I was raised in the church as a child, that I knew what was right and wrong. I have been so blessed with great brothers and sisters and my parents. Calvin has been such a blessing even before I got this cancer. Also my children who continue to call and pray for me. The lessons we have learned together as a family has taught us all so much. It is not something we would choose but something to learn from. Our trials stengthen our hope, faith and reliance upon the Lord.

ON NEST BUILDING

Mud is not bad for nest building.
Mud and sticks
And a fallen feather or two will do
And require no reaching.
I could rest there, with my little ones,
Sound for the season, at least.

But---
If I may fly awhile---
If I may cut through a sunset going out
And a rainbow coming back,
Color upon color sealed in my eyes---
If I may have the unboundaried skies
For my study
Clouds, cities, rivers for my rooms
If I may search the centuries
For melody and meaning
If I may try the sun.

I shall come back
Bearing such beauties
Gleaned from God's and man's very best
I shall come filled.

And then-----
Oh, the nest that I can build!

I love you all,
Janae

Happy New Year - 2012!

2012-01-13T10:25:00.000-08:00

Good morning to all of you!

I know it's time for me to get on my blog. A new goal for 2012! I will be on once a month. I have wanted to write every week. December was full of Jud and Melissa's wedding, all our kids came home for it, of course and then Christmas came 2 days later. It was wonderful to have our house filled with "home."

My health has been up and down. New Year's Eve I was not feeling well. I could not talk. Calvin took me to the hospital. I was there almost 3 days. A great way to bring in the New Year. My nasty tumor, I have given the name "Charlie", had my brain inflamed everywhere and was causing it to bleed. My doctor in town was on call. He came up to the hospital, very concerned. He wanted to put us a helicopter and have brain surgury the next morning in SEATTLE. Calvin explained that we were doing some other treatments that was most likly causing my problems. He wasn't a fan of all this but that's alright. He wanted all the details. Calvin told him that it was not approved by the FDA. I told him that when you are fighting for your life you have to hit all the options. I don't think the medical doctors are use to or happy with people making their own decisions. They gave me 6 weeks. I just hit my 2 and half years last Wednesday.......thanks to our Heavenly Father. He has continued to bless and answer all our prayers.

Calvin and I went to Seattle to talk to Dr. Rockhill. He is the specialists over Radiation, Chemo. and my Gamma Knife. Dr. Chamberlin is the brain surgene. (I know all my spelling is not right, but this takes a while for me to type.) Dr. Chamberlin told me that he thought I was doing pretty good and no surgery now anyway. It would most likly give me a stroke or take away my speech and reading paths. They do the surgury while you are awake so you can answer their questions on what places they are cutting out are responding. We left Seattle happy and blessed to know it all well as good as expected. I am not a fan of steriods but see how they help. I was on a big dose for 11 days, down to 3 for 3 days and now on 2 a day. I will most likly stay on them off and on evey 2 weeks until the sweeling and bleeding in the scans are better. When they showed us the scans on Wednesday, I could not believe how clear my brain looked! It has very little white tumurs everywhere. I wanted to cry! It you do that, the doctors think you are in depression! Some days I am! Don"t go back for 2 months!!!!

No snow in Wenatchee. We need some! I have decided to keep my Christmas decorations up all year! They are alot of works for me to put up...expecially alone. They make me happy and fill my house up. What will everyone say now? I have very little company out here anyway so I think the noution of my craziness will not matter.

Time to get some laundry going. I thank you for all your cards, prayers that I continue to feel in my brain and heart. Also from those of you who deliver my oxygen water. Also my beautiful qoutes you leave in my living room with your visits. You are loved!

Oh, May My Soul Commune with Thee - Hymn

Oh, may my soul commune with thee
And find thy holy peace;
From worldly care and pain of fear,
Please bring me sweet release.

Oh, bless me when I worship thee
To keep my heart in tune,
That I may hear thy still, small voice,
And, thy sweet spirit find.

Lord, grant me thy abiding Love
And make my turmoil cease.
Oh, may my soul commune with thee
And find thy holy peace.

HAVE A WONDERFUL MONTH!

A NEW TREATMENT!

2011-10-05T17:51:00.000-07:00

Dear family and friends,

Last night I got on my computer and typed a long blog to you. Right before I sent it out my elbow hit the kep pad and took the whole thing out. I was so upset. This is the kind of stuff that gives me anxiety and doesn't help me sleep. I will warn you now I am having a hard time with making my typing and words go together. My mouth can speak it but I can't spell it right...so please sound it out or this will take me forever!

Calvin and I found a new man that has a wonderful treatment system. We went to Salt Lake and met wil him over 3 days. He has his PhD as a Chemist. He has 2 machines and also provides injections. He sent us home with his Ozone (oxygen) machine that I use 3 times a day. It is very important to have lots of oxygen. My diet is alot like I have been on previously. He told me that I had to be detoxed before we started so I spent all of last week doing that and going through colonics like I did when I was first diagnosed. He told me that no medication could be taken. They would interfere with the program, so I got off my seizure pills and my hormones. I was a little nervous. I feel so much better being off them. Calvin has been working in his office at home a little more to make sure I'm ok. I had 3 mini-seizures. Nothing very big. I am not driving right now...again but it is worth it to stop taking the pills and have faith. It makes me happy. Many of you I'm sure think I am crazy, but it gives me hope and motivation to have a new program and someone new to work with that is not going to look at radiation, chemo, gamma knife, or surgery. A new option and I am a believer in the program and also this man. I go on line to my "Back-office" and log in the results for the day. He calls me throughout the day. I need to keep trying new approaches to beat the cancer.

He has cured many people from not only cancer but many diseases. All this can be adminstered at home. Thank you for your prayers and love. I feel them daily. I'll try to update my blog more often as I get more energy.

I love you all!

A NEW DIMENSION TO FAITH

When some new pain pieces my life
Rebellion begins to cry,
"God knew this would come and He approved"
But wait, long ago - so did I.

A new treatment!

2011-10-04T19:01:00.000-07:00

Good Evening!

2011-08-18T18:04:00.000-07:00

Hello to many of our loved ones. My typing is off and so is my spelling as we go through this together. I don't dare leave this page cause I am not sure I can get back to it.

I had a third gamma knife that caused a lot of swell and they thought my tumurs were bleeding. I was having mini-sieziers again. They put me on steriods...not a good feeling but they have improved may moter skills. I go over to Seattle within the next 2 weeks to have another MRI, check the brain size and shape and then go from there.

I going to end this now because I want to write a ending for us to all think about.

I have realized an important thing to remember is that your thoughtsare always creating your reality. It's up to us to be in charge or our thoughts, and consciously create a reality that is fulfilly. The alternativeis a relity that is unconscious and haphazard. It's always our choice. Complement your affirmations by starting your day positively. When you wake up imagine your spiritual crew of angelic support is present in your room waiting to meet with with you. Ask for their assists....bring you ideas of what you want, help you connect with like-minded people, help you be aware of your importance. Set an intention to partner with the LORD in creating a wonderful life. It can happen quickly.

I love you all. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Know that I am thinking of you.

2011-08-18T18:02:00.005-07:00

2011-08-18T18:02:00.003-07:00

2011-08-18T18:02:00.001-07:00

Scan in Seattle

2011-06-04T10:39:00.000-07:00

Beautiful walk this morning. I thought for a week or so that Spring had missed Wenatchee but the wind is gone today and the temp. is nice and warm enough for me finally.

My scan was not as good as we were hoping. There are 7 tumors total and no swelling. (They kinda' skip over the good stuff) The one tumor they have been watching behind my left ear continues to be 'mad' as they call it. It was 10mm in January and measures 15mm now. They want me to have a CT scan to make sure nothing has shown up in my organs by now and then do another Gamma Knife. The CT scans of course, put 100 times the amount of radiation in your body and we are concerned about having another crazy doze of that. They don't want to do a Gamma Knife on me until I have one.

Calvin has done alot of reach for us and has me doing everything possible to be successful without the radiation and chemo. We are trying to decide if we should wait another month, have another Brain scan with Rockhill and see if the tumor has continued to grow with some of the new protocols we are now adding to my program. If it has, then we will go to Garrison for the CT scan and move to the Gamma Knife. What a difficult thing this is. I feel your prayers. Most days I feel postive and hopeful and then there is days of totally losing it. I am doing my best.

I love the Lord and blessings he continues to send to our family and also to you and yours.
I know everyone has trials and I sincerely mean this...I am not the worst. I think of all of you and want you to know I love you.

"Scatter Sunshine" - Hymn #230
In a world where sorrow ever will be known
Where are found the needy and the sad and lone,
How much joy and comfort you can all bestow,
If you scatter sunshine everywhere you go.

Slightest actions often meet the sorest needs
For the world wants daily little kindy deeds.
Oh, what care and sorrow you may help remove,
With your songs and courage, sympathy and love.

When the days are gloomy, sing some happy song;
Meet the world's repining with a courage strong.
Go with faith undaunted thru the ills of life;
Scatter smiles and sunshine o're itstoil and strife.

Scatter sunshine all along your way.
Cheer and bless and brighten every passing day!

Janae

ANOTHER SCAN

2011-05-31T16:10:00.000-07:00

It's afternoon. My nap is over and I feel like I have some energy. That is a good thing because I go to Seattle tomorrow and those are always long days for us. It has been a while since I have been over there. I haven't seen Dr. Garrision here in Wenatchee since Oct. He told me to call him if I needed to....what does that mean? It has been almost 4 months I think since I have been to Seattle. I had an appointment last month and Calvin felt that since I was doing alright that we could push it pack a month which is tomorrow. Who is my main doctor? I believe his name is Dr. Calvin G. White. I know he is fighting the most for me so I will continue to prayer for inspiration for the both of us. I once aggain ask for your prayers also. You are the ones that seem to ask me the most how I am doing. I can't begin to start on each of you and what you mean to me..you cards, phone calls, e-mails,travels from California and Colorado. M family just finished the Bergeson reunion in Moses Lake this last week. A bit cold but just the right spirit for my week.

I do have some concerns that Calvins tells me not to worry about but with cancer there seems to be questions all the time. Each cramp in my body makes me question. When I feel dizzy or light headed, I question. My balance seems too have gotten worse. I had a wonderful March but April and May have been tough. I do believe I let my schedule from the past come out and it slowly reminds me who is in charge. My hair is slowly getting thin again.....I AM HERE AND HAPPY! I know the sleep and desire to have my daily nap will always be there. They say is one of the things cancer is fancy for.

I will continue to fight and say no more often and yes to things I enjoy one the good days whatever they may be. I will be back on here to give my results to you. Thanks again for your visits, smiles when I see you and your love.

Hymn #130
Be thou humble in thy weakness and the Lord thy God shall lead thee
Shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayers.
Be thou humble in thy pleading, and the Lord thy God shall bless thee
Shall bless thee with a sweet and calm assurance that he cares.

Be thou humble in thy calling, and the Lord thy God shall teach thee
To serve his children gladly with a pure and gentle love.
Be thou humble in thy longing, and the Lord thy God shall take thee,
Shall take thee home at last to ever dwell with him above.

Off to Mexico

2011-03-27T08:34:00.000-07:00

Good Morning to all of you! The sun is out, no wind and it's a beautiful day in Wenatchee. We looked the weather up in Mexico and it looks like it's in the 70"s during the day so hopefully we will hit some good weather there also. Calvin and and I about to leave the house for Tiquana once again. This trip is for 12 days instead of 21 days. I am so greatful. I feel the treatments have helped me or I wouldn't be going back. Calvin is taking his computer, of course, and we can use the email if you would like to send a message and we will also up-date you. It is cgwhite@televar.com. The phone calls are very expensive but we can also TXT. My phone number is 509-669-3890. I continue to ask for your prayers as I know they bless my mind and heart. Thank you so much for your friendship and love. Janae Though the world is often a dark and confusing place and, as we stumble through it, we faltar and trip into error and confusion. But then, when we feel our human limitations most painfully---whenever we come closest to despair--we can all look skyward, see the flash of lightning, and shout: "More light!"

2011-03-18T17:51:00.001-07:00

It is a couple of days past Thursday but not months ...so I am improving on my timing of this. It seems like those trips to Seattle just poop me out. My scan shows that I have one tumor a bit bigger and one a bit smaller and the rest are stable which they are delighted about. I honestly was a bit disappointed. They told me not to worry about it but to go on how I am feeling which is the best I have felt in a long time.
Rockhill wants me back in 6 weeks instead of 2-3 months just to stay ahead of this one that seems alittle bigger.

I am getting my skin all looked over next week which I do every other month and you should at least once a year. I leave for Tiquana again in about 12 days. Can't believe it's already here. I do believe it has and is helping me. I think I talked about this in my last blog entry so I won't go on.
Keep your prayers in your heart for me and I will check in with you when I get home from Mexico which is around the 8th of April.

Love to you all
Janae

Leviticus 19:18
"Thou shalt not avenge, not
bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt
love thy neighbor as thyself:
I am the LORD."

2011-03-15T17:15:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that it is the middle of March. My son will be home from his mission from Guatemala in 44 days! That makes me happy! I believe all my kids will be here for the PARTY!Many things are making me happy. Stacia and Jean's baby is due next week and Monique and Byron are having their 3rd in August. My son Jared is graduating with his Masters in May. Bergen and Jason's had their triplets and they are all doing great.

I have had a great month as far as the cancer goes.. There could be many reasons. I have been juicing more each day, I began my exercise on a much smaller level, of course. I have been taking the supplements that Dr. Romero in Mexico told me to get on. Also a "Dendredic Cell" shot once a week for 13 weeks that Calvin has been giving me every Friday. My biggest change that I have noticed is my anxiety level when I am put on the spot. (teaching at church and playing the piano or organ) I actually am back on the organ at church. It's a very emotional thing for me to see some of the skills I use to have that are beginning to come back. I'm also sleeping better...so you can see I am improving and really can't single out one reason. I certainly don't want to leave the best part out, that I feel your prayers and thoughts and know I am being blessed from them.

I leave early in the morning for Seattle for another major brain scan so once again ask for you to think of me. I may not get this to you soon enough. I will post my results on Thursday.

It's wonderful to have great friends and family surrounding me. I feel you spirits every day when your faces cross my mind. I leave for Tiquana for our second round called the "booster." It is a 12 day visit instead of 21 days. I am so glad. That is too long for me to be away from everyone and home but I do feel it has helped me. We will see when they check my blood work how the infusions have affected my tumors. I hope it is positive. I believe that it will be because of improvement I feel. It's like the doctors say though, "Janae, you have cancer. It's sneaky." It makes me afraid to get my hopes up but then I remember to trust in the Lord.

Doctrine & Covenants 76:22
"And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which I give of him: That he lives!"

Love you all
Janae

2011-02-14T10:04:00.000-08:00

Good morning to my dear family and friends,

It's hard to believe that the last time I was blogging was Thanksgiving. You can tell I'm great at the computer thing and it wears me out some keeping up with it. I want to do it because I know your prayers and love comfort and help me everyday. I really do appreciate you sincerely and know I wouldn't be doing as well as I am right now without them. Know that even though you may not hear from me as often as you should, I am still thinking of you and greatful you are beside me.

Calvin keeps his e-mails sending out information which helps me alot. Of course he doesn't have everyone's e-mail that I would include so I will do my best with a short version of the last 2 months.

My doctors in the states wanted to have me sign up to a clinical study they are trying to get cleared with FDA in the country. It has terrible side affects.....you are sick!! More than I am now. I asked what the benefits would be and they told me that 25% of the people that agree to go on the "ipi" increase their life by 4 months. WHAT? That is not worth it or good enough for me. I told tham that I wanted to pray about it. I asked what my other options were and they said back to chemo and radiation. Well, I don't want to ever go back to that, I say, but I guess I should never say never. My heart was so heavy for 4 days. I talked to my mom , certainly Calvin, a few close friends....kept prayering and reading my scriptures. I woke up on the 5th day and had an impression to call Leona who is my natural path who got me started when I was first diagnosed. She told me about a clinic/hospital in Tiquana that started in Greece and she knew of people who had gone over and are still having infusions once a year. She gave me the website. The more she told me the better I felt. The gut-ache left me and I realized it was an answer to my prayers....something natural, an option that had no side effects. That night Calvin and I went over all the information, called the IBC clinic the next morning and made reservations to go to Mexico. My doctor here in Wenatchee wasn't excited about my decision. I had to get my medical records from him. He said he had heard of people going over there and not having any success. He had told me 3 weeks earlier that I was running out of luck. So I thought, "Why not try something else." My heart felt about it so I decided it didn't mather to me what they felt. Dr. Garrison has been great to me and I just get my mind to jump another 6 months of chemo and be so ill.

We left Wenatchee about 4 days later, right after Thanksgiving and arrived in Mexico late that night. I started the infusions the next morning. They put them in your arm like an I.V. and they last about 4 hours. We met some wonderful, fun people there who we still stay in contact with. They helped the time to pass. The clinic has a dining room, very small that you eat your meals in and make your meals according to the type of cancer you have and the program you are on. It isn't just a clinic for cancer even though the most the patients do have some form of cancer. We were there 21 days. While you are there , my first day, they draw 13 fiels of blood and for the next 3 weeks while you are undergoing your infusions they spin it and treat it in a lab, adding an antibody to it. It's complicated for me to explain but it's called the "Dendretic Cell." The day before you leave they show you how to have your spouse, friend or whoever, yourself if need be...to inject this back into your body. It's your own immune system made stronger. They don not claim to cure you or heal you but to strengthen your immune system so it can kill the cancer. Very interesting. That's why there are no side effects. It's your own self being put back into your own self but treated, stronger and different. Calvin does my injections every Friday morning before he goes to work, once a week for the 13 weeks.

The first time you go is called the "crisis phase." The doctor you get assigned to you there determines how often you will come back. I go back every 4 months this first year and we will see how my blood and the cancer has responded thus far. When I arrived there my first day my immune system was a 4.9 count. Not so great. 6 is about the lowest. My second week there it had gone up to 4.0. My third week there it had gone up to 3.2. They drew my blood the day I left and Dr. Romero sent Calvin an email and told it was it perfect. It was 2.5. The best. This tells us that the infusions, the food and treats that I had received had worked well so far. This is exciting for me. Tiquana is not the place I want to hang out but it is for a while. calvin thought we would run on the beach and have some what of a vacation...sorry honey! It was freezing cold while we were there. I go back March 28th I believe. We haven't determined exactly what day but it is already time to go in for "Booster." It's only for 12 days now instead of 21. That was a long time to be gone.

We got home from Mexico 4 days belfore Christmas. Raced around to get myself ready, left for Blise to see Jason, Bergen and their swet triplets. We stayed through the New Year and drove home. I got the head crude with throat, ear, sinus...everything but the fever. I have been on the recovery mode since.

I knew this would not be short. Maybe that is why I have put it off but I did want to share it with you. I have felt very good the last 3 weeks and feel like the treatments are kicking in now. It's takes about 6-7 weeks they said. So... we continue to have faith and appreciate your prayers and love that you, our dear loved ones send our way.

"Remeber Me"
Remember me whenever you see a sunrise
Remember me whenever you see a star
Remember me whenever you see a rainbow
Or woods in autumn colors from afar.

Remember me whenever you see the roses
Or eagles sailing high in a sky of blue
Remember me whenever you see waves shining in the sun
And remember I'll be remembering you.

Remember me whenever you see a teardrop
Or meadows still wet with the morning dew
Remember me whenever you feel love growing in your heart
And remember I'll be remembering you!

(A song about our Heavenly Father)

Love Janae

Dendritic Cell (DC)

2010-11-26T18:38:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! Every day needs to be a thanks giving day. We all know that. I want to keep you posted on my procedures that I have decided on. Calvin and I are leaving for Seattle early Sunday morning to go to Tiquina, Mexico for a treatment that I feel better about.

The procedure involves drawing blood from me. RNA-loaded Dendritic cell vaccines start with precursors which, when matured for the vaccine, are currently considered the most effective antigen-presenting cells within the immune system. They are then able to amplify tumor RNA from me, whether from the primary tumor site, distant metastatic sites, (my brain) or from tumor cells present in the circulation and transfect my DC's with my tumor RNA. This process offers the ability for most cancer types at any stage of disease to be target opportunities for this cancer vaccine. At this point they have created a weapon which, when injected into me as an infusion, will act as a cellular "smart-bomb_ in modern defense parlances.

Yes, it does sound complicated. I have been on the phone with the hospital in Mexico through this week, Calvin also. The doctors here are telling me of course they are not be takers of this...no surprise. They don't have an other options for me except more chemo and the "ipi". Neither of them are good for me so..... my prayers and heart are directing me this way. The Biocure hospital does not promise a cure but more of a healing process than than what I have left.

Once again I ask for your prayers. I know I have your love and concern. It means so much. Calvin will have his computer and we can email. I have to be down there for 3 weeks for these infusions which gets me home Dec. 18th. HO,HO,HO HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Count Your Blessings and be grateful!

cgwhite@televar.com

Janae

Seattle scan & "ipi"

2010-11-11T09:27:00.000-08:00

Good morning to everyone:

Calvin and I had an adventure and long day yesterday but GREAT! We started at a new place for my MRI because they didn't have time for my appointment where I usually go at the University of Washington hospital.

Then we went over to U. of Wash. and waited 2 hours to see Dr. Rockhill. Sara, his assistent came in with a huge smile after we were in the room waiting over an hour and said "do you want the good news?" What a relief. She brought up all the tumors on the screen. She told me the one Rockhill did the gamma knife on last month was a bit smaller. Everything was stable which is good in their eyes. Of course I want some shrinkage!. "Patience my dear," my mom would be saying! Dr. Rockhill came in. Said it looked good and he thought the tumor seemed to be responding. We asked him some questions about the "ipi". He said he difinately thought it to be the next best step but this new Dr. Thompson that we were going to meet afterwards would be the pro to anser my questions.

We left his office at 3:00. Drove about 30 minutes to the Cancer Alliance Center. Waited there and got in to visit with him. He explained everything to us and answered our questions. I told him that I was worried about the side affects from the "ipi". It is a trial test that has been out for 8 years but not approved by the FDA. It's sppose to be out in March. On a scale of 0 - being great and 4 - being lousy in health, they only take the cancer melanoma patience that are in the 0 & 1 range which would make me a candidate. He says they have dropped the infusion dose from 10, 3, or 1. You usually don't get side affects until after the 3rd infusion. Or sometimes they don't come until later but do not last a life time. He told us that it is certain more promising then goin back through another round of Chemo. The cancer will keep coming back. The "ipi" is much more promising. He said "Janae the chemo makes you sick also." True. He gave us a 3 ring binder FULL of stuff to go over. I asked him if I was his wife what would he do. He said he understood the tough decision but he would have her do it because it can improve the risk of cancer throughout the organs and not just the brain. It last 4 months and you go over there for the infusion every 3 weeks.

I know you have other people to pray for but please keep me in your prayers. We are thinking we may go ahead and do it. We signed the consent form yesterday because Dr. Thompson also has to sign it in your presents. We can always back out but decided to save us another trip we would do it while we were there. He checked me over and said I was great but he needed a HIV blood test and some other scary ones ran. We went down to the lab and of course, if you don't know my history, I don't like giving my blood away. They got there best man there. I have learned to give a warning before they just call me back. He poked me 5 times and kept telling me how sorry he was. By now it was 6:15 and the lights were flickering off. He got 1 tube and said they would see if it was enough.

Got home after Calvin took me to a nice dinner and ctrawed in bed about 11:00...a long day for me and I didn't even drive!

We love you all so much and appriecate your thoughts and interest this fight for life!

Janae

Hymn
"Sweet hour of pray, sweet hour of prayer!
That calls me from a world of care,
And bids me at my Father's throne
Make all my wants and wishes known.
In seasons of distress and grief
My sould as often found relief
And oft escaped the tempter's snare
By thy return,
Sweet hour of prayer!

Sweet hour of prayer, sweet hour of prayer!
Thy wings shall my petition bear
To him whose truth and faithfulness
Engage the waiting soul to bless.
And since he bids me seek his face,
Believe his word and trust his grace,
I'll cast on him my every care
And wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer!

2010-11-09T14:13:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon to some of my favorite people....family and friends. It's hard to believe Fall is here almost Winter and another 4 weeks has gone by. Bergen just had her triplets and Jud took me to boise for a two day "rock and hold" trip. They are well and Bergen went home lastnight. The babies will be there until around Thanksgiving. Even though means many times to the hospital which is 20 minutes away, it will give her some rest time. We left Judson there to help with Jada. She is 18 months. The house will be busy but so happy and blessed they feel for answered prayer.

I am on my way tomorrow early to have lab work done, another MRI on my brain and meet with a new doctor, Dr. Thompson. They are proposing a clinical study for me. I haven't made up my mind yet because I need more information from Dr. Thompson who I will meet tomorrow. The percentages of a cure or a better life do not impress me. The side effects are severe as they say. Diaherra, arthritis, which I already have, pitary gland problems, skin rashes, swellin in the eyeballs. Not a great quality for life. I am doing better then most that go on this.
It's called "Ipilimumah" Ipi for short. There is quite a bit of information on line about it. They will go over my results from my last gamma knife that I had Oct. 7 and then we will see what needs to happen. I guess it's good to always have something to pray about and draws us closer to our Heavenly Father.

Think of me tomorrow and remember in your prayers. They mean so much to our family.

MATTHEW 5:13-16
"Ye are the salt of the earth but if the salt have lost it's savor, wherewith shall it be salted?
it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of man.
Ye are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle and put in under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven."

I'll write Friday morning. We usually get home to late. It's a long day!
love to you all
Janae

Wednesday - Harbor View Hospital

2010-10-05T10:36:00.000-07:00

Good morning to all of you!

I continue to ask for your faith and prayers. We are going to Harbor View for an gamma knife. It will be Thursday morning early. I have to be there at 6:30 a.m. I will post a blog Friday or Saturday....I promise. I appreciate all the blessings I have been given this first year of this cancer diagnois. As hard has it is to always thin of myself and take of me, I have had a great year of blessings.

In the Doctrine & Covenants chapter 14, verse 7:
And if you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God.

i love and appreciate you all. May you also be blessed and protect through your channagnes and trials. I know we all have them. I also pray for you.

Janae

2010-10-01T15:53:00.000-07:00

Dear family,

Janae has been doing well the past month or so and lately seems to be increasing her stamina day by day. Yesterday we went to the University of Washington for her latest MRI scan. We met with her oncologist, Dr. Rockhill.

He told us that yesterdays scan shows some items of concern. One of the tumors today was the size of your thumbnail. Previously it had not been detected or even tracked because it was so small that it was not a concern. Another one of the tumors that had been treated with the Gamma Knife radiation last October had additional swelling around it and it is too a concern. Dr. Rockhill said this is precisely why he recommends that we have an MRI performed every 3 months so that we can detect any new tumors or any tumors that are growing. The good news is that none of the other seven tumors which were previously treated with the Gamma Knife procedure (last October) have grown. In fact many of them have continued to shrink significantly since the last MRI scan in June.

We are discouraged that any of the tumors have grown at all, but believe it is due to Janae's having had such great results for this entire last 11 1/2 months since her last Gamma Knife procedure. Dr. Rockhill strongly suggests that Janae recieve the Gamma Knife radiation treatment again for the second time. We are in agreement and have made arrangements for this to happen next Thursday, October 9th.

We want you to know that we feel very blessed that her progress has been so significant. We continue to recieve so many kind encouragements and thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers. We know they make a huge difference in the outcome. We are very thankful for each day and for her continued progress in so many ways. We appreciate all of your expressions of love, thoughtfulness, and kindness and we go through these difficult times. Your prayers and friendship mean the world to us. We love you all,

Calvin and Janae

2010-09-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

Good after noon to all my favorite people....

We have been out of town the last 12 days and it has made me realize how fast time goes. I have missed not keeping up with you. Many of you call me by phone and I guess no news is the best news. I appreciate your prayers and love. I know many think of me still and I feel your concern.

We are going over to Seattle for another MRI on my brain tomorrow. It always makes me a bit nervous to check in but something that certainly needs to be done to know how my progress is going. I have blood work at 10:00, my MRI scan at noon, and then I see my doctor at 2:00. Most of the time they are not running on time so we get out of the hospital around 5 or 6. By the time we get home, it's pretty late. I will let you know my results Thursday morning.

"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offereing
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in."

Love Janae

P.S. Your prayers and fasting would be so great! Thanks again for all you do for our family and mean to us!

2010-07-28T12:11:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon to my family and friends,

Nothing new is going on with my health conditions really. My joints are becoming more arthritic. I was born with Children Rhuemotoid? Arthritis and it is kicking in now It's not slowing me down any but causes me quiet a bit of pain especially when I have been still. I don't want pain medicine. It has more side effects that I don't want to worry about. I know I have been very blessed and thank my Heavenly Father for that. I also thank the good doctors who are watching over me.

I don't have another scan until September 29. that makes me a bit nervous but I tell myself to trust in the Lord. He is in charge if I will do what is best for me. I know he will take help me down the path that is mine.

Doctrine & Covenants 84:45 & 46

"For the word of the Lord is truth, and whatsoever is truth is light, and whatso ever is light is Spirit, even the Spirit of Jesus Christ. And the Spirit giveth light to every man that cometh into the world; and the Spirit enlighteneth every man through the world, that hearkeneth to the voice of the Spirit.

I'm so thankful for the Holy Ghost who gives me comfort each day as I call upon him to cheer me up, give me strength and help me to carry on.

Thanks again for you love, prayers and interest in me and my family.
Have a great day!

Janae

2010-07-01T20:17:00.000-07:00

Good Evening to all my great family and friends:

I have been reminded by three doctors this week how lucky I am which I respond, "it's blessed!" My scan in Seattle was great. No new tumors and they are still shrinking. I had the cancerous mole on my back taken off. It was the size of half my little finger nail. They wanted me back Monday to take more out around it so I had surgery for that and they also open another up that they did three weeks ago to make it cleaner. Both came back this morning beign.

I am feeling better and better. I'm working on my energy, staying out of the sun and trying to get my afternoon nap in. I don't do well without my rest....then who does?

The extended plan now for me is to keep the scans on my body and also my brain and watch it all carefully. Cancer is never too far away but I have the odds for myself and the doctors.

I truly believe in faith and prayers and thank-you for all your thoughts on my behalf.

Love, Janae

"And Alma and his people did not raise to the Lord their God, but did pour out their hearts to him; and he did know the thoughts of their hearts.

And it came to pass that the voice of the lord ccame to them in their afflictions, saying: "Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.

And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bodage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety the I, the Lord God, do visit my people in the afflictions.

And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea; the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they didi submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

And it came to pass that so great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the lord came unto them again, saying: Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you our of bondage.

Oh, how I love the Book Of Mormon!"

2010-06-25T14:31:00.000-07:00

Dear family,

Two weeks ago Janae had a full body scan. Later her Wenatchee Oncologist, Dr. Garrison called to tell her that he didn’t see anything in the scan and that everything looked very good. He took a few extra minutes on the phone to tell her, that people just don’t do as well as she has done with brain cancer as advanced as she had. This was great news to hear that she is doing so well. When I visit the doctors with her and see their faces, I can also tell that they feel she is doing marvelous, even far better than they can believe.

Dr. Garrison suggested a couple of weeks ago that she should see a dermatologist just to make sure nothing was happening that would allow the melanoma to grow or expand. As a result of a visit with the Dermatologist, last week Janae had 3 moles on her back removed and tested. Yesterday the dermatologist called her back and told her that one of the moles contains melanoma. She made an appointment for next Monday to have it completely removed including extra material around it just to be safe. This of course has caused Janae a lot of worry.

Janae and I are here at the University of Washington Medical Center. Today she is having blood work done as well as an MRI scan of her brain. We met with her Oncologist, Dr. Rockhill at the U of W. He told us that today’s scan looks about the same as the last time (March 2010) or slightly better. He showed us several of the tumors using the measuring tool on the computer and we could see that they are slightly smaller than last time we reviewed them with him. This is Great News. She is feeling better and getting stronger ever so slowly.

It is so wonderful to have her doing so much better. We feel very blessed that her progress has been so significant. We are very thankful for each day and for her continued progress with the cancer treatments that she has and continues to receive. We appreciate all of your expressions of love, thoughtfulness, and kindness as we go through these difficult times. Your prayers and friendship mean the world to both of us.

We love you all,
Calvin and Janae

2010-06-22T10:11:00.000-07:00

Good morning to you all! It's a beautiful day today in Rock Island. Ihave been up cleaning the garage and bedrooms. A never ending task I'm afraid. I'm looking forward to my nap.

I was warned by a "friend" that if I didn't keep this up better that I am going to be dumped by her....(thanks Mindy.) A true friend.

I go to Seattle tomorrow for a brain scan. I haven't had one in about 3 months so of course I'm a bit anxious. This last week I went in for a breast exam, had 4 moles that they were supposing were pre-cancerous removed. I go back in next Tuesday to have the sticthes all taken out.
I am feeling good most of the time nowbut don't really know until tomorrow what going on in my head. I have finished 6 months of Chemeo and I'm sure that is one of the reasons I am feeeling better. My lab work that I have done every 2 weeks seems to look good. The doctors are beginning to wonder why I am still here. I tell them I belieeve in miracles and have great people with faith praying for me.

I want to thank you so much....all of you, for thinking of me through cards, calls, and prayers. I really can feel them and think of many of you individually.

May you be blessed in your chanllenges also.
Life really is a precious gift. Find a way to really enjoy your blessings!

my love to each of you,
Janae

"YOU CAN MAKE THE PATHWAY BRIGHT"
You can make the pathway bright, Fill the soul with heaven't light
If there's sunshine in your heart; Turning darkness into day
As the shadow's fly away, If there' sunshine in your heart today.

You can speak the gentle word to the heart with anger stirred,
If thee's sunshine in your heart; Thou it seems a little thing,
It will heaven's blessing bring, If there's sunshine in your heart today.

You can do a kindly deed to your neighbor in his need,
If there's sunshine in your heart, And his burden you will share
As you lifet his load of care, If there's sunshine in your heart today.

You can live a happy life in this world of toil and strife,
If there's sunshine in your heart ; And your soul will glow with love
From the perfect Light above, If there's sunshine in your heart today.

If there's sunshine in your heart, You can send a shining ray that will turn the night to day;
And your cares will all depart, If there's sunshine in your heart today!

Have a great day!

2010-06-10T16:20:00.000-07:00

Hello to all my dear friends and family:
I'm a little late on this from yesterday. They canceled my appointment the last minute for my scan and sent me to have a whole body check on my skin....very complete one! I had 6 spots frozen off and one bigger one scrapped and sent in. It looks like I will have s small surgery next week for 3 black funny looking moles on my back. She said they would just take about 4 stitches each so not a big deal. She told me that I need to remind myself that I do not have brain cancer. The cancer has mastatised to my brian, but my cancer is melanoma. She said it could have moved from my skin and chased up to my brain cells while my immune system was trying to stop it. It sounded good to me! That means it may not show up in any of my organs. Notice I said, "may not." Melanomia is such a difficult thing to have. they really don't much about it which makes it so unsure. I feel good about going to Dr. Sequin....now my 6th doctor I can add to my list. They have reschduled my scan in Seattle on June 23rd.

You will hear from me before that! Love you all. Thanks again for you faith and hope and cards.

Janae

P.S. My daughter Bergen is having triples, due on Christmas day but will most likely willgo early.

John 16:7
Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you tha t I go away; for if I go not away, the COMFORTER will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.

I love this scripture. I think it teaches us that the Lord does have have our side for us to establish trust and faith in him, but doesn't leave us alone. We are blessed with the Holy Ghost.

Janae's back

2010-05-25T17:29:00.000-07:00

Good day to everyone.

I am feeling so much better and wanted to get myself back on this. First of all I want to thank all of you for your faith, prayers and concern. None of it is takeen lightly on my part. I went to have another scan about 4 months ago in Seattle and it showed that my tumors were getting smaller. It is slow but there weren't any new ones. Patience! Not best attribute. Dr. Rockhill said that I was doing well enough that he didn't want to see me until June. We just got our appointment and will be having another detailed scan on June 9. Please remember that date and I will get on here and remind you to pray for another good scan. I have got myself on some oxygen water that is sell all over the place. I have done some studing on it andI hope it's one of the reason's I am feeling better. I also was introduced to some "Jus" product by my son -in-law. It has resevertrial in it which makes it better than anything drink out in the market. Quite remarkable stuff. It's made me want to sell it and I'm really not into doing all that. Great for Parkinsons, cancer, insomnia, bone density, lung and breathing capacity. Anyway, I can even play the piano again and type this without taking up too much of my time.

I have been so blessed from our Heaven Father, your prayers and putting my name in the temples across the world. Although this has been the toughest time of my life, it has been a time of blessing and learning that I'm not sure I would have learned anyother way.

Thank-you again all my dear friends. I am feeling better and will keep in touch!

Janae

"I KNOW THAT MY REDEEMER LIVES"
I know that my redeemer lives. What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives, he lives, who once was dead.
He lives my ever living Head.
He lives to bless me with his love. He lives to plead for me above.
He lives my hungry soul to feed. He lives to bless in time of need.

He lives to grant me rich supply. He lives to guide me with his eye.
He lives to comfort me when faint. He lives to hear my soul's complaint.
He lives to silence all my fears. He lives to wipe away my tears.
He lives to calm my troubled heart. He lives all blessings to impart.

He lives, my kind, wise heaven'ly Friend. He lives and loves me to the end.
He lives, and while he lives I'll sing. He lives my Prohet, Priest, and KIng.
He lives and grants me daily breath. He lives, and I shall conquer death.
He lives my mansion to prepare. He lives to bring me safely there.

He lives! All glory to his name! He lives, my Savior still the same. Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: "I know that my Redeemer lives!"
He lives! All glory to his name! He lives, my Savior, still the same. Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: "I know that my Redeemer lives!"

Be grateful and strong because you know that you are loved!

2010-02-23T13:45:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon everyone, this is Janae. I am pretty slow with my typing and I want you to know it's not because I can't spell. It's because I don't want to turn back and correct all my mistakes.

Yes, Once again I know that I have not been awhile. Hang in there with your faith and prayers. Some days are good, and some not so good where I spend much time at the doctor for something....but overall I am well. I did go to Seattle my last visit and my doctor, Rockhill, told me that 4-5 tumors looked like they were getting smaller. The other 4 had not changed and there was no new ones. I have been very sick the month of November and December, throwing up. He changed my medicine and I have been doing better.

Calvin , my real doctor, took me off my steroids and I think I actually feel better but that causes other problems too. The Olympics are killing my nightly routine. Stacia got married and Jared is a week away.

I want to leave with a scripture from the Book of Mormon:

They shall come to the knowledge of their redeemer and the very points of his doctrine, that they may know to come unto him and be saved. 1 Nephi 15:14

2010-01-05T17:06:00.000-08:00

Everyone, this is Janae. I hate to start with apologizing but I am embarrassed and this is getting harder for me. Let me get you up to date on my health. I went back over to Seattle and learned that the gamma knife had helped. 5 had gotten smaller and the other eight had stayed the same. None had grown and there was no new ones; The doctor and us were thrilled. They said they usually get worse the first time. I've been home for 3 months having chemo one week out of 4 and scans on my organs to see if we can find where it is coming from in my body. I have a scan on Friday and lab work always, it seems, gives my stomach a lot of trouble. I am working hard at this. I couldn't do it without Calvin.

"As I have loved you, love one another.
This new commandment, love one another.
By this shall man know ye are my disciples
If ye have love one to another."

You are all loved by me. Be good people. Thanks for your thoughts, prayers and cards.
Happy new year!

Janae White

The Beauty of the Fall Season!

2009-11-03T04:18:00.001-08:00

Good morning......early morning to everyone! This is such a beautiful time of year. We had a gal across the river yesterday call and say she had taken some pictures of the house and trees from "her" side and wanted to send them to us. Calvin is going to follow up with her and we will see how they turned out.

My week of heavy chemo was alright during the week. Calvin has been such a great help. I was only on the chemo last week and now the waiting of "help verses hinder starts." It's all about wait from here on out. I will not have much to report so you be patient too. I will be back on line but I'm hoping with other events and not just my cancer story. There are many wonderful things going on in my life...I have two kids getting married!!!!! To wonderful people!!!!!!! Two more grandchildren!!!!!!! Teenagers!!!!!!!! Yes, life is great!!!!!!!

I appreicate all your cards that continue to come and prayers and fasting that have and are taking place. What do people do without friends.
"People, who need people....are the happiest people in the world!"

I have been so blessed with a wonderful family of parents & siblings that pop over and cheer me up, always reaching out to help, comfort and talk. Also my immediate family that I feel I run ragged with impatience and errands. I asked Calvin the other day if I seemed more abrupt and short than I use to be. He quietly so no.....I don't believe him. Love him so much and feel of his love for me.

I've enjoyed the "World Series." Finally something decent on the televeision. I love good movies and seem to watch more T.V. now that I lay around more. Sad to my heart the people in charge of the media entice all the kids and next generation with so much crap! What must the Lord be thinking? To all of us.....our agency. It breaks my heart when I know and most of you do to, the potiantial of our spirits. We are created after out Heavenly Father. Our potiental is never-ending. I'm getting my "Seminary" hat on.

When I was teaching Seminary and would be running out of the house, I would walk past my bed, which is where I say most of my prayers, and I would think of this hymn. Some mornings I would think I "don't have time to pray, I will say them later." This songs always reminded me how simple it is to call upon our Heavenly Father and to think about it more. I would tell myself that I would not want him to tell me he would answer my prayers "later." I want to share it with you in closing my blog.

DID YOU THINK TO PRAY?
Ere you left your room this morning
Did you think to pray?
In the name of Christ, our Savior
Did you sue for loving favor
As a shield today?

When your heart was filled with anger
Did you think to pray?
Did you plead for grace, my brother
That you might forgive another
Who had crossed your way?

When sore trials came upon you
Did you think to pray
When your soul was full of sorrow
Balm of Gilead did you borrow
At the gates of day?

Oh, how praying rests the weary!
Prayer will change the night to day.
So, when life gets dark and dreary
Don't forget to pray.

Have a great week! Enjoy the season.

Janae

The Beauty of the Fall Season!

2009-11-03T04:18:00.000-08:00

More to celebrate

2009-11-02T17:12:00.000-08:00

Jared and Hannah are engaged!
We are so excited for them and the love they share. They are great WITH each other and FOR each other. We all adore Hannah and are happily awaiting their March wedding so that she will officially be part of our family! Couldn't be happier for the two of them!!!

2009-10-22T17:34:00.000-07:00

HOT DANG! We have some great news. The scan of my organs came back clear! I thank all of you for your faith , concern and prayers and to those of you who participated in the fast. I have heard from some that I didn't send it out soon enough. Some days don't go so well.

They are going to start me on a higher dose of chemo that works along with the Gamma knife on Monday. They also believe it will strongly prevent any cancer to have a chance to spread. They still claim that it's a bit unusal to not see it anywhere else so I will continue to follow their recommendations.

I know many of you are calling. I don't answer my phone. All the caller ID's say "Washington" and it's too much for me to answer the phone every 10 minutes which is truly how often it rings. I need to put me first. I have a answering machine at home that I check often and many of you have my email, plus can respond on the blog. I hope one of those methods can help you keep in touch.

Thanks so much again for your love.

A challenge:
Find ways to recognize and remember God's kindness.

Be Grateful For Memories and Moments

2009-10-20T03:59:00.000-07:00

Good morning to you all! It's nice to have my communication back (computer)and see that my hands are working well. It's something I pay close attention to these days, not that I didn't before but it's a blessing so easily taken for granted. Be grateful!

Bergen helped me out last week on this but let me cover it just a bit. I had my Gamma Knife treatment on Thursday. Dr. Rockhill said it went as well as they expected. They treated 8 tumors and now we will see along with the radiation that I had last month here in town what benefits it will give my body. I go to the Wenatchee Valley Clinic Wednesday, tomorrow, for the rest of my body to make sure there are no other sources popping up. Our family is going to fast starting Wednesday morning until 4:00. Please do not feel that you have to participate in all these actions. For you to be reading this, it makes me feel that I should at least inform you if you feel inclined. I feel maybe I should explain why "a fast." and not just prayer. Prayers are still great and wonderful. As you may know from the Bible they fasted. Fasting puts your PHYSICAL body and mind in what I like to call a rememberance mode. You are going without food and that doesn't happen easily for most of us. The SPIRITUAL side causes us to think, have humility, draw closer to our Heavenly Father as we pray and refrain from food. I hope that gives you a little more understanding. Be grateful for your health even if it is not what you would like it to be!

AND......Also over the weekend Stacia and (Jon)Jean Zintz became engaged!!!!! I'm not sure sure how to spell his last name. That's crazy. They are totally in love and so right for each other. Direct questions to her. I was in Seattle and then home and have not seen her much. He flew out yesterday. We are thrilled that Stacia is so happy. Brielle loves him too. The Lord does provide at times when we would choose different for ourselves. Be grateful!

I want to close my blog with a wonderful, beautiful primary song that the children from the age of 3-11 learn in at church. When I was young my mother was the chorister and taught it to me. It has always made it extra special for me.

"Whenever I Hear The Song Of A Bird"

Whenever I hear the song of a bird
Or look at the blue, blue sky
Whenever I feel the rain on my face
Or the wind as it rushes by
Whenever I touch a velvet rose
Or walk by our lilac tree
I'm glad that I live in this beautiful world
Heavenly Father created for me.

He gave me my eyes that I might see
The color of butterfly wings
He gave me my ears that I might hear
The magical sound of things.
He gave me my life, my mind, my heart:
I thank him reverently
For all his creations, of which I'm a part
Yes, I know Heavenly Father loves me.

BE GRATEFUL!

The things I am learning!

2009-10-12T19:49:00.000-07:00

Hello to everyone. This is Janae. Calvin is home and sharing his computer with me tonight. This is my chance to give my own update. I appreciate Bergen for filling in for me. I have not been ignoring you but am waiting for a new hard drive for my computer.

Bergen covered the procedures that are coming up for me this week. I qualifiy for it because the tumors in my head have not grown and also there are no new ones. The procedure involves radiation which is done from the outside of my head. Each of the larger tumors will be zapped with radiation individually for a certain amount of time. They find the procedure is about 85% successful. They don't know the details of the treatment until we have our consultation on Wednesday afternoon. The treatment procedure is Thursday morning. The following week I have a complete scan of my body to make sure there is no other source of cancer through the rest of my body. I believe the date is the 22nd. Then we will decide with the doctors where we go from there.

I want to share some things I am learning:

Do not make a plan when it involves cancer. Each day is new. I look back on our planned month of September. We had our trip to Snowbird cancelled, moved Judson's flight home from his mission into Wenatchee. I had radiation and chemotherapy to get my motor skills working better, etc....all keeps your faith moving forward. Still a good month to make better.

People have a hard time sharing computers. Everyone does everything on them now.

We apologize about things not necessary. We say "sorry" that we don't send a card or make a phone call. "I had planned to but didn't ....." No one knows your expecations for you and most don't expect them. Don't give yourself the guilt or the excuse. Life is so much better....enjoy!

Do the right thing at the right time even when it seems like something simple. It can make a huge difference.

We have a right to change our minds. I chose not to have radiation and chemo. but as I started to have some motor skills problems I told Calvin it is like anything in life. "If you keep doing the same thing, you get the same results." I had to change my mind even though I had planned on not having these treatments. It has helped me and was the right thing for me to do.

Tears make many people uncomfortable. Tears have many meanings. It can be a sharing of something sacred, special, happy or sad. There are many wonderful stories and thoughts shared through tears. Follow your heart!

Being physically "lean" is not from your workouts at the gym as much as it is from your nutrition.. We get all stressed out about our must-have-routine at the gym....many don't enjoy and drag themselves to it, delighted when they walk out. I have found that vegetables and fruit trim you right down in a very heathy way.

I don't know how to cut and paste on this computer so I will leave this like it is and get it mailed off to you.

On my first blog post I mentioned something about "the old Janae" and the "new Janae." I remember stating that I already could see the "new Janae" was going to be a new, improved version. I see it differently now. The "old Janae" is my tri-cycle, with training wheels and a foundation of who I am and where I am going. I am learning to add a bigger bike and eventually get back to my clip-on peddles. I'm glad you are taking this ride with me. Thanks for your continued prayers, love and faith.

St. John 16:33
"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Love to you all,
Janae

It's fall and one month closer to Christmas!

2009-10-07T16:13:00.000-07:00

Judson is home! We all went to the airport to greet him - it is so great to have him back!
By the way, this is Bergen. Mom wanted me to post a quick note for her. Her computer is down and she knows there are several of you trying to stay in touch and updated, so I'll help you out. Mom finished her 10 days of radiation and had another MRI. It showed no new growths, which is good news, but there is still cancer and we want to get rid of it. So her next treatment will be next week in Seattle and is a procedure called the gamma knife. It is not invasive, even though it has a scary name. It is painless and is basically a really strong dose of radiation to each individual tumor. She will be awake the whole time. It is a one-time treatment and we are excited to have found a great doctor to perform it. If you want more details on the gamma knife, you can visit gammaknife.org and watch the video on the procedure. It's not long, but is a great visual explanation. I won't go into much detail on Mom, she wants to do that herself soon. Just know that we are doing fine. We love you all and appreciate your continued love, support and prayers!

This weeks' update

2009-09-18T09:34:00.000-07:00

Hi, this is Bergen. We have had a change in our plans this week. Wednesay afternoon Mom had a major seizure which lasted over 10 minutes. She lost consiousness at the end. It was very severe and occurred just after leaving the clinic where Dad and her talked with the doctors about starting radiation and chemotherapy. After continued deterioration on her left side and motor skills, Dad and Mom decided they couldn't keep doing the same thing without results. So we have a different plan for now. They had gone to the clinic to talk about more aggressive medical treatments. After taking and reviewing a brain scan the doctors determined that the seizure was mostly the result of her having stopped taking the anti-seizure medicine a couple of months ago. They got her back on the medicine and kept her in the hospital overnight. They feel that she should be okay to function normally with regular use of the medicine. We wanted to thank you for your prayers and concerns for Mom. As I indicated above, we decided to start radiation therapy and chemotherapy. She had her first treatment Thursday. Mom will be taking chemotherapy targeted at the brain in the form of pills. The radiation will be full brain radiation which is targeted to kill all of the tumors in the brain. The doctors feel that this is the best course of action to reduce the swelling in the brain which is causing most of the problems with the impairment of her motor skills and weak left side of the body. We feel good with this course of action and mostly want to kill the tumors as well as reduce the swelling that is causing most of her current problems. I just wanted to let you know her current situation. We have cancelled our plans for our annual Snowbird trip. Judson is flying into Wenatchee and Jared is coming as well. I am here and will stay a couple weeks or more. We are so happy to be together and are enjoying each day. We love you all!

Mom wants me to share the words of a wonderful hymn:

Count Your Blessings

When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your blessings; See what God hath done.
Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your many blessings; See what God hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings; ev’ry doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold.
Count your many blessings; money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.

So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your blessings; See what God hath done.
Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your many blessing; See what God hath done.

Thanks once again for your continued prayers. Our entire family loves and appreciates your faith and support!

Today's MRI Results

2009-09-11T18:15:00.000-07:00

We are later than we thought on our results. The MRI machine was not working today and we ended up using the one at the hospital. The results were not good. It seems that the tumors have grown in size. I have noticed that my speech and other motor skills have deteriorated more the last two weeks. I am sure this is a result of pressure from the growth of the tumors. We are disappointed that the treatments have not worked better to this point. We are exploring other options and decisions that we will need to make immediately. Thank you for all of your expressions of love and your prayers. I will continue to keep in touch and informed about my further progress. I know that the Lord will continue to bless and direct me.

I love you all, Janae

2009-09-07T16:34:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon to everyone! It's September and it sure feels like Fall. I love the change of seasons, the colors, the smells, the clothes, the mood. I have moved my 2 mile early morning walk into the gym downstairs, mostly because I want to add some light weights for my muscles. I am surprised how weak I have become. It's interesting in this process to see surprises arise like that after working out for 25 years. Always something to help us remain humble.

I have been excited for the month of September. Yes, my MRI is coming up this week. We are beginning our family fast Wednesday at noon and ending Thursday at noon. My MRI is Thursday morning. My results with the doctor is Friday morning at 10:00 a.m. All of you who would like to participate are welcome and appreciated. Your faith and prayers mean so much to me. Even those of you who I don't know about. The Lord will acknowledge your effort and will bless us both. I would be grateful for any of you who can make a call into any of the L.D.S. temples and put my name on the prayer rolls. I had a "friend" tell me the other day I should keep all this private "just in case" the results are not in my favor. Less would have to be said and explained in that case. I have responded to this thought before. I know there is always other possibilities to all events but this is how I must look at it and approach it. If you think and worry about what you do not want, believing that is the way to fix it or safeguard yourself, you are fooling yourself. The best way to get what you don't want is to think about it a lot, talk about it alot, and feel worried. It will show up and keep showing up. The best way to give yourself what you do want is to imagine it, get excited about it, allow it to happen, and express gratitude to God when it does. That's our hope!

Some other things that are going on this month that our family is looking forward to is our annual trip to Snowbird, Utah. We have some timeshare units up there in the Little Cottonwood canyon. It's a place our family meets together and shares a week of fun. On top of the excitement this year, our son Judson, who has been serving a mission for our church in Denver Colorado is finishing up his mission. His release date is September 25th. Since we will not be home, his mission president is flying him into Salt Lake to meet us while we are at Snowbird. We can all hardly wait! It has been two years since we have seen him. We get to email him once a week and talk to him twice a year on the phone, on Mother's Day and on Christmas Day. So you can see how special this will be for our family to get him together with us. Having a missionary serving the Lord and standing as a witness of Christ brings such wonderful blessings to a family. I will add our youngest son, Colton is now serving in Guatemala. He has been gone for four months.

In closing I want to leave a scripture out of the Book of Mormon with you.
It is found in 3 Nephi 14:7&8

"Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened."

Our life is good in so many ways. Thank-you for sharing part of you with us!

Love Janae

the girls

2009-08-31T15:00:00.000-07:00

Hi, this is Bergen. I just wanted to post this picture of us girls. Doesn't Mom look FABULOUS?!We love to be together. We are the best of friends. I'm so grateful for the world's best Mom and sisters. Thank you for all your prayers and love - we are all doing great!

2009-08-22T18:15:00.000-07:00

I have two fabulous events to share!!!

First: I want to thank all of you for helping me celebrate my birthday last Saturday. It was exactly what I was hoping for. A home full of family and friends! Sometimes I have wondered over the years, "how many friends do I really have?" I really do not spend much time with many people. You realize over the years of conversations, service, giving and receiving, and sharing that it is not always the time spent that qualitifies for a friend. It's the love that is cultured because of caring. I thank you for your effort in coming out and the precious cards and many gifts not expected. It lifted my spirits.

Secondly: As you know last week I had my MRI last Thursday. There is "a rest of the story" to it. Let me share it. I received a call late afternoon on Wednesday telling me that the MRI machine had been down for a few days. They were trying to get it up and working and thought that they had but they were in the process of testing it. A little nerve-wracking for me but nothing I could do. I knew many were fasting and praying for me and just wanted everything to fall properly into place......"Janae, come now!" They called me back early Thursday morning unsure still. Calvin informed them that if it wasn't ready by the afternoon we would be going up to the hospital to have it there instead. Well, that was motivating. They shortly returned his call and told him that I was first up and could come right in. Stacia came out and took me. After I got in there and was on the third and final set of pictures the machine stopped. They told me that they would give it 5 minutes and then would need to call the engineers to come in if need be. I was laying in there, silently praying to Heavenly Father to please complete this part of the process for me. Within 10 second the thing started rattling. The technician came on and said it was ready to go. We finished the MRI.

As I was leaving I mentioned to them that my appointment with Dr. Garrison was at 8:30 in the morning and I just wanted to make sure he would have the report by then because it was so late by now. They told me that he would have the entire series of pictures but not much of the written report from the interpreter.

Friday morning Calvin and I went in for our appointment. We waited in Garrison's office for over 45 minutes. I could hear him down the hall trying to contact the radialogy department and having a hard time getting a hold of Dr. Levitsky, the interpreter that did my report. My heart was racing with emotion by now. I looked over at Calvin and told him that I was feeling like my report was not in favor of what we were hoping. And then...as tears came to my eyes I told him that I just had a "prayer rush" from all of my loved ones! I could feel it all over my body. I knew many of you knew and remembered I was there, along with my family and that I was getting my results. It truly is a wonderful sense to be aware and tune in to the power of prayer. I cannot tell you the strength it has and continues to bring me. I also want you to know that I was thinking of this yesterday and know that many and most of you have your own trials and heartaches that may not be life-threatening on paper but can be devestating. I love you for being so unselffish and interested my well-being at this time. Such great people with hope and strength!

Back to my story.....Dr. Garrison came in shortly after that and said, "Well, they have all grown. It looks about like 25%. Would you like to see them?" "Yes." He showed us images of four of them. It was in sections, comparing my first films from July to the current ones. His program popped a compass measurement up along with a number. The numbers were about 25% different in increase. I was feeling somewhat sick to my stomach. After a conversation of numbers, and when we could expect a written report, the question he has been prompting me with all along came up. So what is the plan now? We are really concerned, Janae. I told him that I know he wants to help me but he is really not saving lives or providing any hope. I told him that I was not ready or willing to have radiation and chemo and I would continue my program which I had only been on for 5 weeks. I asked him how he thought I looked and was feeling compared to the rest of his cancer patients. He gave a slight smile and said, "You are great!" He left us there to wait for the copies of the images that we requested. Poor calvin. I looked over at him and he looked like someone had just smacked him with a brick. (It wasn't me!) Well, maybe it was because of me! I wanted to just stand up and love his guts. He has been so great to help my heart continue to have faith and hope. I thank him for his support that goes beyond.

We got in the elevator. I told Calvin, "Calvin, this is cancer. Lots of prayers and blessings are being felt but this not going to be that easy. We can do this. This is only the beginnning. This is a race of endurance not speed. We want and need both. I have never been the rabbit in the race. I don't really like the behavior of the crazy, slow, turtle either. So where do I fit? Now I can say, "it depends on the day." I'm great with that thought! Some days are slow for me when I wake up in the middle of the night and decide to think too much. It's actually a wonderful time to myself. I need to find a different time though!

After that I posted my blog out to you. Now, finally for my great event:
Calvin called me yesterday toward the end of his day and asked me if I was ready for some great new. Of course! I was thinking it had something to do with business...which also would have been fine. Great news is GREAT news! He had just received a phone call from Dr. Garrison saying that he had my MRI written report in his hand. It reports on the frontal lesion that has been removed and then mentions the other lesion on the right that has slightly increased from .06 to .09. And then exactly from my report......"other lesions are stable. No new lesions have appeared."

So, I now have 6 lesions/tumors that they can identify. One has grown slightly and the 5 are the same. GREAT NEWS! You may be thinking as I did, this is a serious mistake...it is! And it has been a week ago. I could have decided to jump into radiation by now or any other possiblity. Calvin has taken care of the "political part" of what you can imagine the conversatin to be if you know my husband. I am willing because of "need" to let that go. I want to celebrate "THE GREAT NEWS!" I want to celebrate it with you and once again tell you how much this joint effort from you that you are sharing with me means to me. I truly mean it. So many of you have sent me the most wonderful letters and cards and flowers...and then they come in a second wave from you same dear people in my life. It is such a comfort to sit down on the couch and slowly open each one and think of you and feel of your love, not just for me but the prayers for my entire family.

My next MRI is September 10th. I will remind you. I know that you can make a difference for me.

In closing I want to share my favorite hymn from our L.D.S. hymnal.
Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice
I draw myself apart, Searching my soul?

Where, when my aching grows, where when I languish
Where in my need to know where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand? He, only One.

He answers privately, reaches my reaching (my favorite phase)
In my Gethsemane, Savior, my friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching
Constant he is and kind, Love without end.

Have a fabulous week and know that you are all loved!

Janae White

2009-08-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon everyone. This is Janae. I'm not sure I need to introduce myself every time on this but guess I will. I got home from my appointment at 10:00. Dr. Garrison says the tumors have increased in size about 20-25%. It's not what we wanted to hear but I do have some understanding of it. I started with these tumors in the "negative". Doing all that I am doing takes a while for change....darn it. With my colonics treatments that have been so successful I feel that my body will be able to now begin to start working better to resolve some of this. I have to have my body enviroment prepared for it and that takes time. How long? Can't tell. The problem in the brian is that when it gets inflamed, there is no where for it to go which makes a worry for seizure and strokes.

I am feeling at peace with it still. I have been on the phone with Leona for the last 2 hours revising my program and adding some things...a new plan of attack. I know cancer is a journey of set backs. I cannot let it emotionally and spiritually do that to me. I need the faith, peace and energy to fight and push myself to do whatever I possibly can.

Thanks so much for all your prayers, you that participlated in the fasting process.....I love you so very much. Many of you are friends of my children and friends of friends. It is wonderful to have a network of great people, from many religions and walks of life that can extend their love and blessings to me and my ffamily at this time.

I will continue on in all I can do. I appreicate anything you are willing to continue to do for me.

Have a great day! And weekend!!!!
Janae

2009-08-11T13:12:00.000-07:00

Hello to everyone! This is Janae. I really do write on this every morning around 3:00 a.m. when I should be asleep. I talk myself out of getting up becaz' I know that I will never get any rest. I do think of all of you and feel of your love and prayers for me and our family.

I am feeling great. I have been doing my program almost 5 weeks. My MRI has been moved up a day (Thursday) and results will be given me on Friday. We are starting a family/friends fast tomorrow, Wednesday at noon until Thursday morning at 10:00 a.m. All of you are welcome to join if you desire. I will let you know what I find out. I feel there will be some great changes even though it hasn't been a lot of time. In talking with Leona she said that no change is a good change becaz' that means we have stopped the growth. I will still continue on my program becaz' I feel so great. The only thing I am noticing is that throughout the end of my day as I get tired, talk too much....I struggle with my speech some. It makes me have to slow down and make my mouth move but it doesn't bother me. My family thinks its a good thing to have me a bit quiet. Imagine that!

Calvin and I went over to the temple on Saturday. What a wonderful place to spend the day, to receive answers and reassurance from our Heavenly Father.

I love the scripture in John 14:26-27
"But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your rememberance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

I feel so blessed to have been raised in the church as a child. To know that I have been born as a spirit child of God which makes us all spiritually brothers and sisters. I am so thankful to my parents who provided my earthly, mortal body for my spirit. I like my body. It has been a wonderful, hard-working vessel for me to accomplish many wonderful things in my life and become who I am. I even like my brian. It's mine! I know I have an opportunity to grow in faith and stengthen in my testimony through this expereince.

I was outside the other morning just finishing up my scripture reading. The sun was on the river. A beautiful morning as I comtemplated the magesty of God's handiwork in the creation. It made me stop and ask myself, "Where is heaven anyway?" Many years ago there was a song that was sung often throughout the church. We don't hear it hardly at all anymore. I went downstairs and dug up my music. I want to share the words with you as I sign off today.

WHERE IS HEAVEN?
I wish I could remember the days before my birth
And if I knew the Father before I came to earth.
In quiet moments when I'm all alone
I close my eyes and try to see my Heavenly home.

Where is Heaven? Is it very far?
I would like to know if it's beyond the brightest star.
Where is Heaven? Will you show the way?
I would like to learn and grow and go there someday.

I wish I could remember the Father's loving face
And all the friends and family that filled that holy place.
Was I a child there? Did I walk with God?
And was that where I learned about the Iron Rod?

Where is Heaven? Is it very far?
I would like to know if it's beyond the brightest star.
I've a feeling that it's not too far
When you're with the ones you love it's right where you are.

WHEN YOU'RE WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE IT'S RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.

Heaven on earth is truly found around those that you love. Protect your home and families. Maintain a spirit of love so we can all recieve the blessings that our Heavenly Father truly desires to send our way if we seek, look and respond to. I love you all so very much. I am so thankful for family and friends and the gospel that constantly protects my heart in my fight to recover.

Looking forward to sharing my results with you on Friday.

Janae

A party

2009-08-07T16:59:00.000-07:00

Janae's birthday is Saturday, August 15th.

We figured so many people want to share their love with her, so

we're having a casual gathering early that evening from 4-6 p.m.

It will be at our home (4000 SR 28 Rock Island).

Come by to visit and give her a birthday hug!

P.S. This is NOT a surprise :)

True Love

2009-08-05T14:13:00.000-07:00

It's me, Stacia. I hacked in here because today is a very special day.

Today is our parents 31st wedding anniversary!

I snuck around and found some great photos of my parents:

(i hope i can be forgiven) :)

Calvin & Janae

married in the Manti temple

for time and all eternity

this had to be about 1984?

Dad getting a good laugh when we pulled off
Mom's surprise 40th b-day party

this one was last week

Each of us wanted to share our love and some memories about mom and dad - things we love and aspire to from their example in marriage and their dedication as parents:

I love the way my parents love each other! Seeing their love for each other and feeling their love for each of us always gave me security. I know that this one facet of my life is perfect. I had the greatest childhood. :) Regardless of how busy they were with work, with church responsibilities, with the 6 of us and the countless others who they reached out to serve, they always had plenty of love left over for each other! And they still love each other so completely! I hope to someday have a marriage that is as strong, as playful, as spiritually rooted and as loving as what they have worked to create!
Mom and Dad, i love you so very much!!! ~ Stacia

Although they aren't perfect, they have been perfect parents. Dad has guided me along in my life, teaching me invaluable lessons (sometimes against my will). He is someone I can go to with questions and for advice. Mom, simply put, has never let me down. Not ever. I credit her for my interest and talents in dance, music and poetry. Mom and Dad, along with the examples, talents and wisdom I've inherited from them, make me blessed and whole. I love you so much and wish you a wonderful anniversary! ~ Jared

I love the story of Dad chasing Mom around the couches and around the kitchen....this story will always make all of us laugh! I admire that Dad and Mom have ALWAYS gone on Friday night dates. We'd have pizza and stay up late. I'm so glad they made time for each other. Now I do that in my marriage thanks to their example. And every time Dad comes home, they kiss. Usually in the kitchen. When I was in Jr. High I remember them kissing for a long time - and in front of my friends!!! It didn't matter to them. I was so embarassed, but looking back, I am now so proud of their love and devotion to each other! A perfect and balanced marriage that I strive to emulate in every way. Happy Anniversary, Dad and Mom! I love you tons and tons! xoxoxo Bergen

Congratulations Mom and Dad on 31 years of happiness! I am thankful for your great example of having fun with each other. I love that you still chase each other around the kitchen and down the halls at home. Home has been my center and I am thankful I have always wanted to be there with you! All my love to you both, Monique Paige

Well, it's easy to explain how Mom and Dad are with just one word. LOVING! Throughout my childhood, always seeing my mother and father demonstrating their love for each of us and for each other has taught me so much about love. I have been fortified and strengthened in my testimony of my savior and his love for me through the love my parents have for each other and for my siblings and i. Happy Anniversary Dad and Mom! Elder Colton White

Mom and Dad, thanks for showing us and teaching us what true love is all about, what it's made of, and that it never ends!!!

2009-07-25T08:52:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone, this is Janae. Stacia put this blog together for me and so I guess it's time to get the act together and learn how to run it. After reading the posts (is that the right word?) on it, I think I will like it. Your words have made me happy and I must say I have felt the strength of your prayers for me and my family.

I want to give you an update or just some information on what I am doing. I have brain cancer. They see 17 tumors and assume they are in the layers of my brain. Brain cancer comes from another source of cancer in the body. They cannot find any other cancer anywhere in me which I feel is good news, but they are still leary. Two weeks ago they removed the biggest tumor. It was 1.26cm, in the front on the surface, not attached to anything that would affect my motorskills. It was malignant. They immediately told me that my best treatment would be to have my entire brain radiated, use the gamma knife on a few of them later, and then add some chemo to the rest of my body. This is the treatment that they strongly recommended but added there is really no hope for me because I have so many. We all know close friends and family who recieve news like this but believe me, there is nothing like it when it's you receiving a death sentence. As ugly as it was I thought to myself, "I'm not going to let fear or the medical system chase me into this. It's my life!" Radiation will shrivel my brain like a walnut and leave me nothing left to fight with. Could I really consider that as an option? I was told, "Well, there is really no hope in cancer." I told them that I would gather my information, pray about my decision and get back to them, which they reminded me that I needed to hurry.

Through a wonderful unknown miracle last year we were given a name of a woman who is a Iridologist, Nutritionist and Herbologist. She has the best cancer treatment in the world and lives right in Puyallup. We went over and met with her. Incredible! She not only has thousands of wonderful happy stories (not endings) but uses the word "recovery". As we listened to her for 3 hours I was trying to listen to my feelings..... of just wanting the hope she was enlightening me with, or was it the spirit answering my prayers and letting me know that she would be my resource and option over radiation and chemo. I was overwhelmed to tears as I left her. She was so interested in saving my life after spending such a short time with me. How could I turn my heart away from the principles of faith and hope and most importantly the powers of the Lord and the priesthood? I know the medical world knows no other way. They are not in charge of my life unless I approve. With no hope why would I go that direction. It's my privilege and blessing to be the agent of my body.

We left there and ran up to the University of Washington to meet with Dr. Rockhill who specializes in brain melanomas. He didn't mince words. He told me he had seen my scans and visited with the doctors over here and agreed with them on my treatment. He said, "Janae you are in stage 4 of cancer. I will give you a little more time because you have never smoked, drank, or participated in drugs. I looked at him and told him, "I have a great life. I have been very blessed with many miracles and wonderful things in my life and if I don't have hope or faith then I can't continue to ask for miracles. You have nothing to offer me." He told me if I went home and did nothing my time was short. I was not going to go home and "do nothing."

I started Leona's program 14 days ago today. It is somewhat complicated but fabulous. I feel great! I feel better than I have all year. My program consumes my entire day. It's exciting and fun for me to be proactive. I am feeling and seeing all kinds of wonderful changes. My only physical changes are a little bit of shaved hair on my head from my surgery and some weight loss....not because I have cancer but because I am on a "cancer-free" food program. Think twice before you ask me for it!!!!!

This is a special time in my life. People share and say things that are sacred when they think you are going to die. I have had a huge support group and love from my children. Bergen has been here from Boise. I was able to be with Monique as she delivered Kennedy on Tuesday. Stacia has put together pictures of beautiful flowers and so many wonderful cards (from so many wonderful caring people...many of YOU) in a scrapbook for me to always enjoy. Jared has been doing anything to pull the rest together. I am busy, happy and experiencing some of the best tender mercies of my life right now.

Please do not feel neglected when I don't return phone calls. I do appreciate your concern and love. I really do. Cancer is something you take on your body, spirit and mind in phases. It reminds me of a infant, then the terrible 2's that you want to skip over then the rationilizing with a 4 year old and on and on. No phase can be skipped. Each one has it's challenges and rewards and must be dealt with.

I feel so very blessed. I liked the "Old Janae." I wasn't perfect by a long run. I knew the importance of charity and many wonderful spiritual gifts I feel the Lord blessed me with. But I have become a "New Janae" and I like her better. Do not feel sorry for me. I need your faith. I need your blessing. I need your prayers and will humbly continue to ask for them. I feel I know now why I have taught Seminary for almost 9 years. It has been the foundation to my faith and understanding in making my decisions as of late. Look at all the wonderful examples of faith in the scriptures. We must be loyal to the Lord in adversity. My scan will be August 14. That will be a big day for me.

My true comfort is found in prayer and my scriptures. Look a couple of these up:

Genesis 1:29-31 Talks about the herbs and bearing of seed and the fruit yielding seed, wherein there is life. And God saw EVERY thing that he had made, it was VERY good.
Abraham 4:29-31
Moses 2:29-13
Doctrine and Covenatns 104:17
Alma 46:40,41

I will keep in touch. I love you all. Have a fabulous day! I'll see some of you in church tomorrow!
Janae

Introducing:

2009-07-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

Kennedy Paige Lott

8 lbs, 7 oz and 20.5" long

born July 21st, 2009

Monique and Byron introducing Bentley to his new little sister

Grandma and Kennedy
She is just a doll! We're so happy to have her here and in our family!

Pressing on

2009-07-21T13:39:00.000-07:00

We hope that this blog allows for a better connection for those of you who wish to be part of our lives. This will be a place you can come to recieve information and to share your love.

After Janae's biopsy, we learned she has malignant melanoma. After much research and consulting, we feel best about alternative treatment and she is doing well with her program. She has been strong and consistent and says she feels better about it each day. She will be tested again in a few weeks to see how her body is responding to this.

Janae is doing her best to rest and strengthen her immune system. This is vital to her treatment. With all that has happened over the last few weeks, she has been exhausted physically, mentally and mostly, emotionally.

There have been many, many people calling and wanting to talk with her or come and visit her. Being so caught up in shock and emotions at first, we had no time to set boundaries. However, at this time we ask that you send your love and thoughts to her either by email, cards or by leaving comments on this blog. All of these options are wonderful and reliable avenues to show your love and support.

Each day she cherishes the cards and emails she recieves and counts your love for her as a wonderful blessing and a source of comfort and strength. She is grateful for the place each of you have in her heart. We appreciate your continued love and prayers on her behalf and are so thankful for the outpouring of love that each of us in our family have felt at this time!

We are so blessed to have each of you!

Much love, The White Family