Hi, this is Bergen. I just wanted to post this picture of us girls. Doesn't Mom look FABULOUS?!We love to be together. We are the best of friends. I'm so grateful for the world's best Mom and sisters. Thank you for all your prayers and love - we are all doing great!Monday, August 31, 2009
the girls
Hi, this is Bergen. I just wanted to post this picture of us girls. Doesn't Mom look FABULOUS?!We love to be together. We are the best of friends. I'm so grateful for the world's best Mom and sisters. Thank you for all your prayers and love - we are all doing great!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
I have two fabulous events to share!!!
First: I want to thank all of you for helping me celebrate my birthday last Saturday. It was exactly what I was hoping for. A home full of family and friends! Sometimes I have wondered over the years, "how many friends do I really have?" I really do not spend much time with many people. You realize over the years of conversations, service, giving and receiving, and sharing that it is not always the time spent that qualitifies for a friend. It's the love that is cultured because of caring. I thank you for your effort in coming out and the precious cards and many gifts not expected. It lifted my spirits.
Secondly: As you know last week I had my MRI last Thursday. There is "a rest of the story" to it. Let me share it. I received a call late afternoon on Wednesday telling me that the MRI machine had been down for a few days. They were trying to get it up and working and thought that they had but they were in the process of testing it. A little nerve-wracking for me but nothing I could do. I knew many were fasting and praying for me and just wanted everything to fall properly into place......"Janae, come now!" They called me back early Thursday morning unsure still. Calvin informed them that if it wasn't ready by the afternoon we would be going up to the hospital to have it there instead. Well, that was motivating. They shortly returned his call and told him that I was first up and could come right in. Stacia came out and took me. After I got in there and was on the third and final set of pictures the machine stopped. They told me that they would give it 5 minutes and then would need to call the engineers to come in if need be. I was laying in there, silently praying to Heavenly Father to please complete this part of the process for me. Within 10 second the thing started rattling. The technician came on and said it was ready to go. We finished the MRI.
As I was leaving I mentioned to them that my appointment with Dr. Garrison was at 8:30 in the morning and I just wanted to make sure he would have the report by then because it was so late by now. They told me that he would have the entire series of pictures but not much of the written report from the interpreter.
Friday morning Calvin and I went in for our appointment. We waited in Garrison's office for over 45 minutes. I could hear him down the hall trying to contact the radialogy department and having a hard time getting a hold of Dr. Levitsky, the interpreter that did my report. My heart was racing with emotion by now. I looked over at Calvin and told him that I was feeling like my report was not in favor of what we were hoping. And then...as tears came to my eyes I told him that I just had a "prayer rush" from all of my loved ones! I could feel it all over my body. I knew many of you knew and remembered I was there, along with my family and that I was getting my results. It truly is a wonderful sense to be aware and tune in to the power of prayer. I cannot tell you the strength it has and continues to bring me. I also want you to know that I was thinking of this yesterday and know that many and most of you have your own trials and heartaches that may not be life-threatening on paper but can be devestating. I love you for being so unselffish and interested my well-being at this time. Such great people with hope and strength!
Back to my story.....Dr. Garrison came in shortly after that and said, "Well, they have all grown. It looks about like 25%. Would you like to see them?" "Yes." He showed us images of four of them. It was in sections, comparing my first films from July to the current ones. His program popped a compass measurement up along with a number. The numbers were about 25% different in increase. I was feeling somewhat sick to my stomach. After a conversation of numbers, and when we could expect a written report, the question he has been prompting me with all along came up. So what is the plan now? We are really concerned, Janae. I told him that I know he wants to help me but he is really not saving lives or providing any hope. I told him that I was not ready or willing to have radiation and chemo and I would continue my program which I had only been on for 5 weeks. I asked him how he thought I looked and was feeling compared to the rest of his cancer patients. He gave a slight smile and said, "You are great!" He left us there to wait for the copies of the images that we requested. Poor calvin. I looked over at him and he looked like someone had just smacked him with a brick. (It wasn't me!) Well, maybe it was because of me! I wanted to just stand up and love his guts. He has been so great to help my heart continue to have faith and hope. I thank him for his support that goes beyond.
We got in the elevator. I told Calvin, "Calvin, this is cancer. Lots of prayers and blessings are being felt but this not going to be that easy. We can do this. This is only the beginnning. This is a race of endurance not speed. We want and need both. I have never been the rabbit in the race. I don't really like the behavior of the crazy, slow, turtle either. So where do I fit? Now I can say, "it depends on the day." I'm great with that thought! Some days are slow for me when I wake up in the middle of the night and decide to think too much. It's actually a wonderful time to myself. I need to find a different time though!
After that I posted my blog out to you. Now, finally for my great event:
Calvin called me yesterday toward the end of his day and asked me if I was ready for some great new. Of course! I was thinking it had something to do with business...which also would have been fine. Great news is GREAT news! He had just received a phone call from Dr. Garrison saying that he had my MRI written report in his hand. It reports on the frontal lesion that has been removed and then mentions the other lesion on the right that has slightly increased from .06 to .09. And then exactly from my report......"other lesions are stable. No new lesions have appeared."
So, I now have 6 lesions/tumors that they can identify. One has grown slightly and the 5 are the same. GREAT NEWS! You may be thinking as I did, this is a serious mistake...it is! And it has been a week ago. I could have decided to jump into radiation by now or any other possiblity. Calvin has taken care of the "political part" of what you can imagine the conversatin to be if you know my husband. I am willing because of "need" to let that go. I want to celebrate "THE GREAT NEWS!" I want to celebrate it with you and once again tell you how much this joint effort from you that you are sharing with me means to me. I truly mean it. So many of you have sent me the most wonderful letters and cards and flowers...and then they come in a second wave from you same dear people in my life. It is such a comfort to sit down on the couch and slowly open each one and think of you and feel of your love, not just for me but the prayers for my entire family.
My next MRI is September 10th. I will remind you. I know that you can make a difference for me.
In closing I want to share my favorite hymn from our L.D.S. hymnal.
Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice
I draw myself apart, Searching my soul?
Where, when my aching grows, where when I languish
Where in my need to know where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand? He, only One.
He answers privately, reaches my reaching (my favorite phase)
In my Gethsemane, Savior, my friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching
Constant he is and kind, Love without end.
Have a fabulous week and know that you are all loved!
Janae White
First: I want to thank all of you for helping me celebrate my birthday last Saturday. It was exactly what I was hoping for. A home full of family and friends! Sometimes I have wondered over the years, "how many friends do I really have?" I really do not spend much time with many people. You realize over the years of conversations, service, giving and receiving, and sharing that it is not always the time spent that qualitifies for a friend. It's the love that is cultured because of caring. I thank you for your effort in coming out and the precious cards and many gifts not expected. It lifted my spirits.
Secondly: As you know last week I had my MRI last Thursday. There is "a rest of the story" to it. Let me share it. I received a call late afternoon on Wednesday telling me that the MRI machine had been down for a few days. They were trying to get it up and working and thought that they had but they were in the process of testing it. A little nerve-wracking for me but nothing I could do. I knew many were fasting and praying for me and just wanted everything to fall properly into place......"Janae, come now!" They called me back early Thursday morning unsure still. Calvin informed them that if it wasn't ready by the afternoon we would be going up to the hospital to have it there instead. Well, that was motivating. They shortly returned his call and told him that I was first up and could come right in. Stacia came out and took me. After I got in there and was on the third and final set of pictures the machine stopped. They told me that they would give it 5 minutes and then would need to call the engineers to come in if need be. I was laying in there, silently praying to Heavenly Father to please complete this part of the process for me. Within 10 second the thing started rattling. The technician came on and said it was ready to go. We finished the MRI.
As I was leaving I mentioned to them that my appointment with Dr. Garrison was at 8:30 in the morning and I just wanted to make sure he would have the report by then because it was so late by now. They told me that he would have the entire series of pictures but not much of the written report from the interpreter.
Friday morning Calvin and I went in for our appointment. We waited in Garrison's office for over 45 minutes. I could hear him down the hall trying to contact the radialogy department and having a hard time getting a hold of Dr. Levitsky, the interpreter that did my report. My heart was racing with emotion by now. I looked over at Calvin and told him that I was feeling like my report was not in favor of what we were hoping. And then...as tears came to my eyes I told him that I just had a "prayer rush" from all of my loved ones! I could feel it all over my body. I knew many of you knew and remembered I was there, along with my family and that I was getting my results. It truly is a wonderful sense to be aware and tune in to the power of prayer. I cannot tell you the strength it has and continues to bring me. I also want you to know that I was thinking of this yesterday and know that many and most of you have your own trials and heartaches that may not be life-threatening on paper but can be devestating. I love you for being so unselffish and interested my well-being at this time. Such great people with hope and strength!
Back to my story.....Dr. Garrison came in shortly after that and said, "Well, they have all grown. It looks about like 25%. Would you like to see them?" "Yes." He showed us images of four of them. It was in sections, comparing my first films from July to the current ones. His program popped a compass measurement up along with a number. The numbers were about 25% different in increase. I was feeling somewhat sick to my stomach. After a conversation of numbers, and when we could expect a written report, the question he has been prompting me with all along came up. So what is the plan now? We are really concerned, Janae. I told him that I know he wants to help me but he is really not saving lives or providing any hope. I told him that I was not ready or willing to have radiation and chemo and I would continue my program which I had only been on for 5 weeks. I asked him how he thought I looked and was feeling compared to the rest of his cancer patients. He gave a slight smile and said, "You are great!" He left us there to wait for the copies of the images that we requested. Poor calvin. I looked over at him and he looked like someone had just smacked him with a brick. (It wasn't me!) Well, maybe it was because of me! I wanted to just stand up and love his guts. He has been so great to help my heart continue to have faith and hope. I thank him for his support that goes beyond.
We got in the elevator. I told Calvin, "Calvin, this is cancer. Lots of prayers and blessings are being felt but this not going to be that easy. We can do this. This is only the beginnning. This is a race of endurance not speed. We want and need both. I have never been the rabbit in the race. I don't really like the behavior of the crazy, slow, turtle either. So where do I fit? Now I can say, "it depends on the day." I'm great with that thought! Some days are slow for me when I wake up in the middle of the night and decide to think too much. It's actually a wonderful time to myself. I need to find a different time though!
After that I posted my blog out to you. Now, finally for my great event:
Calvin called me yesterday toward the end of his day and asked me if I was ready for some great new. Of course! I was thinking it had something to do with business...which also would have been fine. Great news is GREAT news! He had just received a phone call from Dr. Garrison saying that he had my MRI written report in his hand. It reports on the frontal lesion that has been removed and then mentions the other lesion on the right that has slightly increased from .06 to .09. And then exactly from my report......"other lesions are stable. No new lesions have appeared."
So, I now have 6 lesions/tumors that they can identify. One has grown slightly and the 5 are the same. GREAT NEWS! You may be thinking as I did, this is a serious mistake...it is! And it has been a week ago. I could have decided to jump into radiation by now or any other possiblity. Calvin has taken care of the "political part" of what you can imagine the conversatin to be if you know my husband. I am willing because of "need" to let that go. I want to celebrate "THE GREAT NEWS!" I want to celebrate it with you and once again tell you how much this joint effort from you that you are sharing with me means to me. I truly mean it. So many of you have sent me the most wonderful letters and cards and flowers...and then they come in a second wave from you same dear people in my life. It is such a comfort to sit down on the couch and slowly open each one and think of you and feel of your love, not just for me but the prayers for my entire family.
My next MRI is September 10th. I will remind you. I know that you can make a difference for me.
In closing I want to share my favorite hymn from our L.D.S. hymnal.
Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice
I draw myself apart, Searching my soul?
Where, when my aching grows, where when I languish
Where in my need to know where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand? He, only One.
He answers privately, reaches my reaching (my favorite phase)
In my Gethsemane, Savior, my friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching
Constant he is and kind, Love without end.
Have a fabulous week and know that you are all loved!
Janae White
Friday, August 14, 2009
Good afternoon everyone. This is Janae. I'm not sure I need to introduce myself every time on this but guess I will. I got home from my appointment at 10:00. Dr. Garrison says the tumors have increased in size about 20-25%. It's not what we wanted to hear but I do have some understanding of it. I started with these tumors in the "negative". Doing all that I am doing takes a while for change....darn it. With my colonics treatments that have been so successful I feel that my body will be able to now begin to start working better to resolve some of this. I have to have my body enviroment prepared for it and that takes time. How long? Can't tell. The problem in the brian is that when it gets inflamed, there is no where for it to go which makes a worry for seizure and strokes.
I am feeling at peace with it still. I have been on the phone with Leona for the last 2 hours revising my program and adding some things...a new plan of attack. I know cancer is a journey of set backs. I cannot let it emotionally and spiritually do that to me. I need the faith, peace and energy to fight and push myself to do whatever I possibly can.
Thanks so much for all your prayers, you that participlated in the fasting process.....I love you so very much. Many of you are friends of my children and friends of friends. It is wonderful to have a network of great people, from many religions and walks of life that can extend their love and blessings to me and my ffamily at this time.
I will continue on in all I can do. I appreicate anything you are willing to continue to do for me.
Have a great day! And weekend!!!!
Janae
I am feeling at peace with it still. I have been on the phone with Leona for the last 2 hours revising my program and adding some things...a new plan of attack. I know cancer is a journey of set backs. I cannot let it emotionally and spiritually do that to me. I need the faith, peace and energy to fight and push myself to do whatever I possibly can.
Thanks so much for all your prayers, you that participlated in the fasting process.....I love you so very much. Many of you are friends of my children and friends of friends. It is wonderful to have a network of great people, from many religions and walks of life that can extend their love and blessings to me and my ffamily at this time.
I will continue on in all I can do. I appreicate anything you are willing to continue to do for me.
Have a great day! And weekend!!!!
Janae
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Hello to everyone! This is Janae. I really do write on this every morning around 3:00 a.m. when I should be asleep. I talk myself out of getting up becaz' I know that I will never get any rest. I do think of all of you and feel of your love and prayers for me and our family.
I am feeling great. I have been doing my program almost 5 weeks. My MRI has been moved up a day (Thursday) and results will be given me on Friday. We are starting a family/friends fast tomorrow, Wednesday at noon until Thursday morning at 10:00 a.m. All of you are welcome to join if you desire. I will let you know what I find out. I feel there will be some great changes even though it hasn't been a lot of time. In talking with Leona she said that no change is a good change becaz' that means we have stopped the growth. I will still continue on my program becaz' I feel so great. The only thing I am noticing is that throughout the end of my day as I get tired, talk too much....I struggle with my speech some. It makes me have to slow down and make my mouth move but it doesn't bother me. My family thinks its a good thing to have me a bit quiet. Imagine that!
Calvin and I went over to the temple on Saturday. What a wonderful place to spend the day, to receive answers and reassurance from our Heavenly Father.
I love the scripture in John 14:26-27
"But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your rememberance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
I feel so blessed to have been raised in the church as a child. To know that I have been born as a spirit child of God which makes us all spiritually brothers and sisters. I am so thankful to my parents who provided my earthly, mortal body for my spirit. I like my body. It has been a wonderful, hard-working vessel for me to accomplish many wonderful things in my life and become who I am. I even like my brian. It's mine! I know I have an opportunity to grow in faith and stengthen in my testimony through this expereince.
I was outside the other morning just finishing up my scripture reading. The sun was on the river. A beautiful morning as I comtemplated the magesty of God's handiwork in the creation. It made me stop and ask myself, "Where is heaven anyway?" Many years ago there was a song that was sung often throughout the church. We don't hear it hardly at all anymore. I went downstairs and dug up my music. I want to share the words with you as I sign off today.
WHERE IS HEAVEN?
I wish I could remember the days before my birth
And if I knew the Father before I came to earth.
In quiet moments when I'm all alone
I close my eyes and try to see my Heavenly home.
Where is Heaven? Is it very far?
I would like to know if it's beyond the brightest star.
Where is Heaven? Will you show the way?
I would like to learn and grow and go there someday.
I wish I could remember the Father's loving face
And all the friends and family that filled that holy place.
Was I a child there? Did I walk with God?
And was that where I learned about the Iron Rod?
Where is Heaven? Is it very far?
I would like to know if it's beyond the brightest star.
I've a feeling that it's not too far
When you're with the ones you love it's right where you are.
WHEN YOU'RE WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE IT'S RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.
Heaven on earth is truly found around those that you love. Protect your home and families. Maintain a spirit of love so we can all recieve the blessings that our Heavenly Father truly desires to send our way if we seek, look and respond to. I love you all so very much. I am so thankful for family and friends and the gospel that constantly protects my heart in my fight to recover.
Looking forward to sharing my results with you on Friday.
Janae
I am feeling great. I have been doing my program almost 5 weeks. My MRI has been moved up a day (Thursday) and results will be given me on Friday. We are starting a family/friends fast tomorrow, Wednesday at noon until Thursday morning at 10:00 a.m. All of you are welcome to join if you desire. I will let you know what I find out. I feel there will be some great changes even though it hasn't been a lot of time. In talking with Leona she said that no change is a good change becaz' that means we have stopped the growth. I will still continue on my program becaz' I feel so great. The only thing I am noticing is that throughout the end of my day as I get tired, talk too much....I struggle with my speech some. It makes me have to slow down and make my mouth move but it doesn't bother me. My family thinks its a good thing to have me a bit quiet. Imagine that!
Calvin and I went over to the temple on Saturday. What a wonderful place to spend the day, to receive answers and reassurance from our Heavenly Father.
I love the scripture in John 14:26-27
"But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your rememberance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
I feel so blessed to have been raised in the church as a child. To know that I have been born as a spirit child of God which makes us all spiritually brothers and sisters. I am so thankful to my parents who provided my earthly, mortal body for my spirit. I like my body. It has been a wonderful, hard-working vessel for me to accomplish many wonderful things in my life and become who I am. I even like my brian. It's mine! I know I have an opportunity to grow in faith and stengthen in my testimony through this expereince.
I was outside the other morning just finishing up my scripture reading. The sun was on the river. A beautiful morning as I comtemplated the magesty of God's handiwork in the creation. It made me stop and ask myself, "Where is heaven anyway?" Many years ago there was a song that was sung often throughout the church. We don't hear it hardly at all anymore. I went downstairs and dug up my music. I want to share the words with you as I sign off today.
WHERE IS HEAVEN?
I wish I could remember the days before my birth
And if I knew the Father before I came to earth.
In quiet moments when I'm all alone
I close my eyes and try to see my Heavenly home.
Where is Heaven? Is it very far?
I would like to know if it's beyond the brightest star.
Where is Heaven? Will you show the way?
I would like to learn and grow and go there someday.
I wish I could remember the Father's loving face
And all the friends and family that filled that holy place.
Was I a child there? Did I walk with God?
And was that where I learned about the Iron Rod?
Where is Heaven? Is it very far?
I would like to know if it's beyond the brightest star.
I've a feeling that it's not too far
When you're with the ones you love it's right where you are.
WHEN YOU'RE WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE IT'S RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.
Heaven on earth is truly found around those that you love. Protect your home and families. Maintain a spirit of love so we can all recieve the blessings that our Heavenly Father truly desires to send our way if we seek, look and respond to. I love you all so very much. I am so thankful for family and friends and the gospel that constantly protects my heart in my fight to recover.
Looking forward to sharing my results with you on Friday.
Janae
Friday, August 7, 2009
A party
Janae's birthday is Saturday, August 15th.
We figured so many people want to share their love with her, so
we're having a casual gathering early that evening from 4-6 p.m.
It will be at our home (4000 SR 28 Rock Island).
Come by to visit and give her a birthday hug!
P.S. This is NOT a surprise :)
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
True Love
It's me, Stacia. I hacked in here because today is a very special day.
Today is our parents 31st wedding anniversary!
I snuck around and found some great photos of my parents:
(i hope i can be forgiven) :)
Calvin & Janaemarried in the Manti temple
for time and all eternity
this had to be about 1984?
Dad getting a good laugh when we pulled offMom's surprise 40th b-day party
this one was last weekEach of us wanted to share our love and some memories about mom and dad - things we love and aspire to from their example in marriage and their dedication as parents:
I love the way my parents love each other! Seeing their love for each other and feeling their love for each of us always gave me security. I know that this one facet of my life is perfect. I had the greatest childhood. :) Regardless of how busy they were with work, with church responsibilities, with the 6 of us and the countless others who they reached out to serve, they always had plenty of love left over for each other! And they still love each other so completely! I hope to someday have a marriage that is as strong, as playful, as spiritually rooted and as loving as what they have worked to create!
Mom and Dad, i love you so very much!!! ~ Stacia
Although they aren't perfect, they have been perfect parents. Dad has guided me along in my life, teaching me invaluable lessons (sometimes against my will). He is someone I can go to with questions and for advice. Mom, simply put, has never let me down. Not ever. I credit her for my interest and talents in dance, music and poetry. Mom and Dad, along with the examples, talents and wisdom I've inherited from them, make me blessed and whole. I love you so much and wish you a wonderful anniversary! ~ Jared
I love the story of Dad chasing Mom around the couches and around the kitchen....this story will always make all of us laugh! I admire that Dad and Mom have ALWAYS gone on Friday night dates. We'd have pizza and stay up late. I'm so glad they made time for each other. Now I do that in my marriage thanks to their example. And every time Dad comes home, they kiss. Usually in the kitchen. When I was in Jr. High I remember them kissing for a long time - and in front of my friends!!! It didn't matter to them. I was so embarassed, but looking back, I am now so proud of their love and devotion to each other! A perfect and balanced marriage that I strive to emulate in every way. Happy Anniversary, Dad and Mom! I love you tons and tons! xoxoxo Bergen
Congratulations Mom and Dad on 31 years of happiness! I am thankful for your great example of having fun with each other. I love that you still chase each other around the kitchen and down the halls at home. Home has been my center and I am thankful I have always wanted to be there with you! All my love to you both, Monique Paige
Well, it's easy to explain how Mom and Dad are with just one word. LOVING! Throughout my childhood, always seeing my mother and father demonstrating their love for each of us and for each other has taught me so much about love. I have been fortified and strengthened in my testimony of my savior and his love for me through the love my parents have for each other and for my siblings and i. Happy Anniversary Dad and Mom! Elder Colton White
Mom and Dad, thanks for showing us and teaching us what true love is all about, what it's made of, and that it never ends!!!
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