I have two fabulous events to share!!!

First: I want to thank all of you for helping me celebrate my birthday last Saturday. It was exactly what I was hoping for. A home full of family and friends! Sometimes I have wondered over the years, "how many friends do I really have?" I really do not spend much time with many people. You realize over the years of conversations, service, giving and receiving, and sharing that it is not always the time spent that qualitifies for a friend. It's the love that is cultured because of caring. I thank you for your effort in coming out and the precious cards and many gifts not expected. It lifted my spirits.

Secondly: As you know last week I had my MRI last Thursday. There is "a rest of the story" to it. Let me share it. I received a call late afternoon on Wednesday telling me that the MRI machine had been down for a few days. They were trying to get it up and working and thought that they had but they were in the process of testing it. A little nerve-wracking for me but nothing I could do. I knew many were fasting and praying for me and just wanted everything to fall properly into place......"Janae, come now!" They called me back early Thursday morning unsure still. Calvin informed them that if it wasn't ready by the afternoon we would be going up to the hospital to have it there instead. Well, that was motivating. They shortly returned his call and told him that I was first up and could come right in. Stacia came out and took me. After I got in there and was on the third and final set of pictures the machine stopped. They told me that they would give it 5 minutes and then would need to call the engineers to come in if need be. I was laying in there, silently praying to Heavenly Father to please complete this part of the process for me. Within 10 second the thing started rattling. The technician came on and said it was ready to go. We finished the MRI.

As I was leaving I mentioned to them that my appointment with Dr. Garrison was at 8:30 in the morning and I just wanted to make sure he would have the report by then because it was so late by now. They told me that he would have the entire series of pictures but not much of the written report from the interpreter.

Friday morning Calvin and I went in for our appointment. We waited in Garrison's office for over 45 minutes. I could hear him down the hall trying to contact the radialogy department and having a hard time getting a hold of Dr. Levitsky, the interpreter that did my report. My heart was racing with emotion by now. I looked over at Calvin and told him that I was feeling like my report was not in favor of what we were hoping. And then...as tears came to my eyes I told him that I just had a "prayer rush" from all of my loved ones! I could feel it all over my body. I knew many of you knew and remembered I was there, along with my family and that I was getting my results. It truly is a wonderful sense to be aware and tune in to the power of prayer. I cannot tell you the strength it has and continues to bring me. I also want you to know that I was thinking of this yesterday and know that many and most of you have your own trials and heartaches that may not be life-threatening on paper but can be devestating. I love you for being so unselffish and interested my well-being at this time. Such great people with hope and strength!

Back to my story.....Dr. Garrison came in shortly after that and said, "Well, they have all grown. It looks about like 25%. Would you like to see them?" "Yes." He showed us images of four of them. It was in sections, comparing my first films from July to the current ones. His program popped a compass measurement up along with a number. The numbers were about 25% different in increase. I was feeling somewhat sick to my stomach. After a conversation of numbers, and when we could expect a written report, the question he has been prompting me with all along came up. So what is the plan now? We are really concerned, Janae. I told him that I know he wants to help me but he is really not saving lives or providing any hope. I told him that I was not ready or willing to have radiation and chemo and I would continue my program which I had only been on for 5 weeks. I asked him how he thought I looked and was feeling compared to the rest of his cancer patients. He gave a slight smile and said, "You are great!" He left us there to wait for the copies of the images that we requested. Poor calvin. I looked over at him and he looked like someone had just smacked him with a brick. (It wasn't me!) Well, maybe it was because of me! I wanted to just stand up and love his guts. He has been so great to help my heart continue to have faith and hope. I thank him for his support that goes beyond.

We got in the elevator. I told Calvin, "Calvin, this is cancer. Lots of prayers and blessings are being felt but this not going to be that easy. We can do this. This is only the beginnning. This is a race of endurance not speed. We want and need both. I have never been the rabbit in the race. I don't really like the behavior of the crazy, slow, turtle either. So where do I fit? Now I can say, "it depends on the day." I'm great with that thought! Some days are slow for me when I wake up in the middle of the night and decide to think too much. It's actually a wonderful time to myself. I need to find a different time though!

After that I posted my blog out to you. Now, finally for my great event:
Calvin called me yesterday toward the end of his day and asked me if I was ready for some great new. Of course! I was thinking it had something to do with business...which also would have been fine. Great news is GREAT news! He had just received a phone call from Dr. Garrison saying that he had my MRI written report in his hand. It reports on the frontal lesion that has been removed and then mentions the other lesion on the right that has slightly increased from .06 to .09. And then exactly from my report......"other lesions are stable. No new lesions have appeared."

So, I now have 6 lesions/tumors that they can identify. One has grown slightly and the 5 are the same. GREAT NEWS! You may be thinking as I did, this is a serious mistake...it is! And it has been a week ago. I could have decided to jump into radiation by now or any other possiblity. Calvin has taken care of the "political part" of what you can imagine the conversatin to be if you know my husband. I am willing because of "need" to let that go. I want to celebrate "THE GREAT NEWS!" I want to celebrate it with you and once again tell you how much this joint effort from you that you are sharing with me means to me. I truly mean it. So many of you have sent me the most wonderful letters and cards and flowers...and then they come in a second wave from you same dear people in my life. It is such a comfort to sit down on the couch and slowly open each one and think of you and feel of your love, not just for me but the prayers for my entire family.

My next MRI is September 10th. I will remind you. I know that you can make a difference for me.

In closing I want to share my favorite hymn from our L.D.S. hymnal.
Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice
I draw myself apart, Searching my soul?

Where, when my aching grows, where when I languish
Where in my need to know where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand? He, only One.

He answers privately, reaches my reaching (my favorite phase)
In my Gethsemane, Savior, my friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching
Constant he is and kind, Love without end.

Have a fabulous week and know that you are all loved!

Janae White