Good morning......early morning to everyone! This is such a beautiful time of year. We had a gal across the river yesterday call and say she had taken some pictures of the house and trees from "her" side and wanted to send them to us. Calvin is going to follow up with her and we will see how they turned out.
My week of heavy chemo was alright during the week. Calvin has been such a great help. I was only on the chemo last week and now the waiting of "help verses hinder starts." It's all about wait from here on out. I will not have much to report so you be patient too. I will be back on line but I'm hoping with other events and not just my cancer story. There are many wonderful things going on in my life...I have two kids getting married!!!!! To wonderful people!!!!!!! Two more grandchildren!!!!!!! Teenagers!!!!!!!! Yes, life is great!!!!!!!
I appreicate all your cards that continue to come and prayers and fasting that have and are taking place. What do people do without friends.
"People, who need people....are the happiest people in the world!"
I have been so blessed with a wonderful family of parents & siblings that pop over and cheer me up, always reaching out to help, comfort and talk. Also my immediate family that I feel I run ragged with impatience and errands. I asked Calvin the other day if I seemed more abrupt and short than I use to be. He quietly so no.....I don't believe him. Love him so much and feel of his love for me.
I've enjoyed the "World Series." Finally something decent on the televeision. I love good movies and seem to watch more T.V. now that I lay around more. Sad to my heart the people in charge of the media entice all the kids and next generation with so much crap! What must the Lord be thinking? To all of us.....our agency. It breaks my heart when I know and most of you do to, the potiantial of our spirits. We are created after out Heavenly Father. Our potiental is never-ending. I'm getting my "Seminary" hat on.
When I was teaching Seminary and would be running out of the house, I would walk past my bed, which is where I say most of my prayers, and I would think of this hymn. Some mornings I would think I "don't have time to pray, I will say them later." This songs always reminded me how simple it is to call upon our Heavenly Father and to think about it more. I would tell myself that I would not want him to tell me he would answer my prayers "later." I want to share it with you in closing my blog.
DID YOU THINK TO PRAY?
Ere you left your room this morning
Did you think to pray?
In the name of Christ, our Savior
Did you sue for loving favor
As a shield today?
When your heart was filled with anger
Did you think to pray?
Did you plead for grace, my brother
That you might forgive another
Who had crossed your way?
When sore trials came upon you
Did you think to pray
When your soul was full of sorrow
Balm of Gilead did you borrow
At the gates of day?
Oh, how praying rests the weary!
Prayer will change the night to day.
So, when life gets dark and dreary
Don't forget to pray.
Have a great week! Enjoy the season.
Janae
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
More to celebrate
Jared and Hannah are engaged!
We are so excited for them and the love they share. They are great WITH each other and FOR each other. We all adore Hannah and are happily awaiting their March wedding so that she will officially be part of our family! Couldn't be happier for the two of them!!!
We are so excited for them and the love they share. They are great WITH each other and FOR each other. We all adore Hannah and are happily awaiting their March wedding so that she will officially be part of our family! Couldn't be happier for the two of them!!!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
HOT DANG! We have some great news. The scan of my organs came back clear! I thank all of you for your faith , concern and prayers and to those of you who participated in the fast. I have heard from some that I didn't send it out soon enough. Some days don't go so well.
They are going to start me on a higher dose of chemo that works along with the Gamma knife on Monday. They also believe it will strongly prevent any cancer to have a chance to spread. They still claim that it's a bit unusal to not see it anywhere else so I will continue to follow their recommendations.
I know many of you are calling. I don't answer my phone. All the caller ID's say "Washington" and it's too much for me to answer the phone every 10 minutes which is truly how often it rings. I need to put me first. I have a answering machine at home that I check often and many of you have my email, plus can respond on the blog. I hope one of those methods can help you keep in touch.
Thanks so much again for your love.
A challenge:
Find ways to recognize and remember God's kindness.
They are going to start me on a higher dose of chemo that works along with the Gamma knife on Monday. They also believe it will strongly prevent any cancer to have a chance to spread. They still claim that it's a bit unusal to not see it anywhere else so I will continue to follow their recommendations.
I know many of you are calling. I don't answer my phone. All the caller ID's say "Washington" and it's too much for me to answer the phone every 10 minutes which is truly how often it rings. I need to put me first. I have a answering machine at home that I check often and many of you have my email, plus can respond on the blog. I hope one of those methods can help you keep in touch.
Thanks so much again for your love.
A challenge:
Find ways to recognize and remember God's kindness.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Be Grateful For Memories and Moments
Good morning to you all! It's nice to have my communication back (computer)and see that my hands are working well. It's something I pay close attention to these days, not that I didn't before but it's a blessing so easily taken for granted. Be grateful!
Bergen helped me out last week on this but let me cover it just a bit. I had my Gamma Knife treatment on Thursday. Dr. Rockhill said it went as well as they expected. They treated 8 tumors and now we will see along with the radiation that I had last month here in town what benefits it will give my body. I go to the Wenatchee Valley Clinic Wednesday, tomorrow, for the rest of my body to make sure there are no other sources popping up. Our family is going to fast starting Wednesday morning until 4:00. Please do not feel that you have to participate in all these actions. For you to be reading this, it makes me feel that I should at least inform you if you feel inclined. I feel maybe I should explain why "a fast." and not just prayer. Prayers are still great and wonderful. As you may know from the Bible they fasted. Fasting puts your PHYSICAL body and mind in what I like to call a rememberance mode. You are going without food and that doesn't happen easily for most of us. The SPIRITUAL side causes us to think, have humility, draw closer to our Heavenly Father as we pray and refrain from food. I hope that gives you a little more understanding. Be grateful for your health even if it is not what you would like it to be!
AND......Also over the weekend Stacia and (Jon)Jean Zintz became engaged!!!!! I'm not sure sure how to spell his last name. That's crazy. They are totally in love and so right for each other. Direct questions to her. I was in Seattle and then home and have not seen her much. He flew out yesterday. We are thrilled that Stacia is so happy. Brielle loves him too. The Lord does provide at times when we would choose different for ourselves. Be grateful!
I want to close my blog with a wonderful, beautiful primary song that the children from the age of 3-11 learn in at church. When I was young my mother was the chorister and taught it to me. It has always made it extra special for me.
"Whenever I Hear The Song Of A Bird"
Whenever I hear the song of a bird
Or look at the blue, blue sky
Whenever I feel the rain on my face
Or the wind as it rushes by
Whenever I touch a velvet rose
Or walk by our lilac tree
I'm glad that I live in this beautiful world
Heavenly Father created for me.
He gave me my eyes that I might see
The color of butterfly wings
He gave me my ears that I might hear
The magical sound of things.
He gave me my life, my mind, my heart:
I thank him reverently
For all his creations, of which I'm a part
Yes, I know Heavenly Father loves me.
BE GRATEFUL!
Bergen helped me out last week on this but let me cover it just a bit. I had my Gamma Knife treatment on Thursday. Dr. Rockhill said it went as well as they expected. They treated 8 tumors and now we will see along with the radiation that I had last month here in town what benefits it will give my body. I go to the Wenatchee Valley Clinic Wednesday, tomorrow, for the rest of my body to make sure there are no other sources popping up. Our family is going to fast starting Wednesday morning until 4:00. Please do not feel that you have to participate in all these actions. For you to be reading this, it makes me feel that I should at least inform you if you feel inclined. I feel maybe I should explain why "a fast." and not just prayer. Prayers are still great and wonderful. As you may know from the Bible they fasted. Fasting puts your PHYSICAL body and mind in what I like to call a rememberance mode. You are going without food and that doesn't happen easily for most of us. The SPIRITUAL side causes us to think, have humility, draw closer to our Heavenly Father as we pray and refrain from food. I hope that gives you a little more understanding. Be grateful for your health even if it is not what you would like it to be!
AND......Also over the weekend Stacia and (Jon)Jean Zintz became engaged!!!!! I'm not sure sure how to spell his last name. That's crazy. They are totally in love and so right for each other. Direct questions to her. I was in Seattle and then home and have not seen her much. He flew out yesterday. We are thrilled that Stacia is so happy. Brielle loves him too. The Lord does provide at times when we would choose different for ourselves. Be grateful!
I want to close my blog with a wonderful, beautiful primary song that the children from the age of 3-11 learn in at church. When I was young my mother was the chorister and taught it to me. It has always made it extra special for me.
"Whenever I Hear The Song Of A Bird"
Whenever I hear the song of a bird
Or look at the blue, blue sky
Whenever I feel the rain on my face
Or the wind as it rushes by
Whenever I touch a velvet rose
Or walk by our lilac tree
I'm glad that I live in this beautiful world
Heavenly Father created for me.
He gave me my eyes that I might see
The color of butterfly wings
He gave me my ears that I might hear
The magical sound of things.
He gave me my life, my mind, my heart:
I thank him reverently
For all his creations, of which I'm a part
Yes, I know Heavenly Father loves me.
BE GRATEFUL!
Monday, October 12, 2009
The things I am learning!
Hello to everyone. This is Janae. Calvin is home and sharing his computer with me tonight. This is my chance to give my own update. I appreciate Bergen for filling in for me. I have not been ignoring you but am waiting for a new hard drive for my computer.
Bergen covered the procedures that are coming up for me this week. I qualifiy for it because the tumors in my head have not grown and also there are no new ones. The procedure involves radiation which is done from the outside of my head. Each of the larger tumors will be zapped with radiation individually for a certain amount of time. They find the procedure is about 85% successful. They don't know the details of the treatment until we have our consultation on Wednesday afternoon. The treatment procedure is Thursday morning. The following week I have a complete scan of my body to make sure there is no other source of cancer through the rest of my body. I believe the date is the 22nd. Then we will decide with the doctors where we go from there.
I want to share some things I am learning:
Do not make a plan when it involves cancer. Each day is new. I look back on our planned month of September. We had our trip to Snowbird cancelled, moved Judson's flight home from his mission into Wenatchee. I had radiation and chemotherapy to get my motor skills working better, etc....all keeps your faith moving forward. Still a good month to make better.
People have a hard time sharing computers. Everyone does everything on them now.
We apologize about things not necessary. We say "sorry" that we don't send a card or make a phone call. "I had planned to but didn't ....." No one knows your expecations for you and most don't expect them. Don't give yourself the guilt or the excuse. Life is so much better....enjoy!
Do the right thing at the right time even when it seems like something simple. It can make a huge difference.
We have a right to change our minds. I chose not to have radiation and chemo. but as I started to have some motor skills problems I told Calvin it is like anything in life. "If you keep doing the same thing, you get the same results." I had to change my mind even though I had planned on not having these treatments. It has helped me and was the right thing for me to do.
Tears make many people uncomfortable. Tears have many meanings. It can be a sharing of something sacred, special, happy or sad. There are many wonderful stories and thoughts shared through tears. Follow your heart!
Being physically "lean" is not from your workouts at the gym as much as it is from your nutrition.. We get all stressed out about our must-have-routine at the gym....many don't enjoy and drag themselves to it, delighted when they walk out. I have found that vegetables and fruit trim you right down in a very heathy way.
I don't know how to cut and paste on this computer so I will leave this like it is and get it mailed off to you.
On my first blog post I mentioned something about "the old Janae" and the "new Janae." I remember stating that I already could see the "new Janae" was going to be a new, improved version. I see it differently now. The "old Janae" is my tri-cycle, with training wheels and a foundation of who I am and where I am going. I am learning to add a bigger bike and eventually get back to my clip-on peddles. I'm glad you are taking this ride with me. Thanks for your continued prayers, love and faith.
St. John 16:33
"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
Love to you all,
Janae
Bergen covered the procedures that are coming up for me this week. I qualifiy for it because the tumors in my head have not grown and also there are no new ones. The procedure involves radiation which is done from the outside of my head. Each of the larger tumors will be zapped with radiation individually for a certain amount of time. They find the procedure is about 85% successful. They don't know the details of the treatment until we have our consultation on Wednesday afternoon. The treatment procedure is Thursday morning. The following week I have a complete scan of my body to make sure there is no other source of cancer through the rest of my body. I believe the date is the 22nd. Then we will decide with the doctors where we go from there.
I want to share some things I am learning:
Do not make a plan when it involves cancer. Each day is new. I look back on our planned month of September. We had our trip to Snowbird cancelled, moved Judson's flight home from his mission into Wenatchee. I had radiation and chemotherapy to get my motor skills working better, etc....all keeps your faith moving forward. Still a good month to make better.
People have a hard time sharing computers. Everyone does everything on them now.
We apologize about things not necessary. We say "sorry" that we don't send a card or make a phone call. "I had planned to but didn't ....." No one knows your expecations for you and most don't expect them. Don't give yourself the guilt or the excuse. Life is so much better....enjoy!
Do the right thing at the right time even when it seems like something simple. It can make a huge difference.
We have a right to change our minds. I chose not to have radiation and chemo. but as I started to have some motor skills problems I told Calvin it is like anything in life. "If you keep doing the same thing, you get the same results." I had to change my mind even though I had planned on not having these treatments. It has helped me and was the right thing for me to do.
Tears make many people uncomfortable. Tears have many meanings. It can be a sharing of something sacred, special, happy or sad. There are many wonderful stories and thoughts shared through tears. Follow your heart!
Being physically "lean" is not from your workouts at the gym as much as it is from your nutrition.. We get all stressed out about our must-have-routine at the gym....many don't enjoy and drag themselves to it, delighted when they walk out. I have found that vegetables and fruit trim you right down in a very heathy way.
I don't know how to cut and paste on this computer so I will leave this like it is and get it mailed off to you.
On my first blog post I mentioned something about "the old Janae" and the "new Janae." I remember stating that I already could see the "new Janae" was going to be a new, improved version. I see it differently now. The "old Janae" is my tri-cycle, with training wheels and a foundation of who I am and where I am going. I am learning to add a bigger bike and eventually get back to my clip-on peddles. I'm glad you are taking this ride with me. Thanks for your continued prayers, love and faith.
St. John 16:33
"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
Love to you all,
Janae
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
It's fall and one month closer to Christmas!
Judson is home! We all went to the airport to greet him - it is so great to have him back!
By the way, this is Bergen. Mom wanted me to post a quick note for her. Her computer is down and she knows there are several of you trying to stay in touch and updated, so I'll help you out. Mom finished her 10 days of radiation and had another MRI. It showed no new growths, which is good news, but there is still cancer and we want to get rid of it. So her next treatment will be next week in Seattle and is a procedure called the gamma knife. It is not invasive, even though it has a scary name. It is painless and is basically a really strong dose of radiation to each individual tumor. She will be awake the whole time. It is a one-time treatment and we are excited to have found a great doctor to perform it. If you want more details on the gamma knife, you can visit gammaknife.org and watch the video on the procedure. It's not long, but is a great visual explanation. I won't go into much detail on Mom, she wants to do that herself soon. Just know that we are doing fine. We love you all and appreciate your continued love, support and prayers!
By the way, this is Bergen. Mom wanted me to post a quick note for her. Her computer is down and she knows there are several of you trying to stay in touch and updated, so I'll help you out. Mom finished her 10 days of radiation and had another MRI. It showed no new growths, which is good news, but there is still cancer and we want to get rid of it. So her next treatment will be next week in Seattle and is a procedure called the gamma knife. It is not invasive, even though it has a scary name. It is painless and is basically a really strong dose of radiation to each individual tumor. She will be awake the whole time. It is a one-time treatment and we are excited to have found a great doctor to perform it. If you want more details on the gamma knife, you can visit gammaknife.org and watch the video on the procedure. It's not long, but is a great visual explanation. I won't go into much detail on Mom, she wants to do that herself soon. Just know that we are doing fine. We love you all and appreciate your continued love, support and prayers!
Friday, September 18, 2009
This weeks' update
Hi, this is Bergen. We have had a change in our plans this week. Wednesay afternoon Mom had a major seizure which lasted over 10 minutes. She lost consiousness at the end. It was very severe and occurred just after leaving the clinic where Dad and her talked with the doctors about starting radiation and chemotherapy. After continued deterioration on her left side and motor skills, Dad and Mom decided they couldn't keep doing the same thing without results. So we have a different plan for now. They had gone to the clinic to talk about more aggressive medical treatments. After taking and reviewing a brain scan the doctors determined that the seizure was mostly the result of her having stopped taking the anti-seizure medicine a couple of months ago. They got her back on the medicine and kept her in the hospital overnight. They feel that she should be okay to function normally with regular use of the medicine. We wanted to thank you for your prayers and concerns for Mom. As I indicated above, we decided to start radiation therapy and chemotherapy. She had her first treatment Thursday. Mom will be taking chemotherapy targeted at the brain in the form of pills. The radiation will be full brain radiation which is targeted to kill all of the tumors in the brain. The doctors feel that this is the best course of action to reduce the swelling in the brain which is causing most of the problems with the impairment of her motor skills and weak left side of the body. We feel good with this course of action and mostly want to kill the tumors as well as reduce the swelling that is causing most of her current problems. I just wanted to let you know her current situation. We have cancelled our plans for our annual Snowbird trip. Judson is flying into Wenatchee and Jared is coming as well. I am here and will stay a couple weeks or more. We are so happy to be together and are enjoying each day. We love you all!
Mom wants me to share the words of a wonderful hymn:
Count Your Blessings
When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your blessings; See what God hath done.
Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your many blessings; See what God hath done.
Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings; ev’ry doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by.
When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold.
Count your many blessings; money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.
So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.
Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your blessings; See what God hath done.
Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your many blessing; See what God hath done.
Thanks once again for your continued prayers. Our entire family loves and appreciates your faith and support!
Mom wants me to share the words of a wonderful hymn:
Count Your Blessings
When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your blessings; See what God hath done.
Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your many blessings; See what God hath done.
Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings; ev’ry doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by.
When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold.
Count your many blessings; money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.
So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.
Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your blessings; See what God hath done.
Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your many blessing; See what God hath done.
Thanks once again for your continued prayers. Our entire family loves and appreciates your faith and support!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Today's MRI Results
We are later than we thought on our results. The MRI machine was not working today and we ended up using the one at the hospital. The results were not good. It seems that the tumors have grown in size. I have noticed that my speech and other motor skills have deteriorated more the last two weeks. I am sure this is a result of pressure from the growth of the tumors. We are disappointed that the treatments have not worked better to this point. We are exploring other options and decisions that we will need to make immediately. Thank you for all of your expressions of love and your prayers. I will continue to keep in touch and informed about my further progress. I know that the Lord will continue to bless and direct me.
I love you all, Janae
I love you all, Janae
Monday, September 7, 2009
Good afternoon to everyone! It's September and it sure feels like Fall. I love the change of seasons, the colors, the smells, the clothes, the mood. I have moved my 2 mile early morning walk into the gym downstairs, mostly because I want to add some light weights for my muscles. I am surprised how weak I have become. It's interesting in this process to see surprises arise like that after working out for 25 years. Always something to help us remain humble.
I have been excited for the month of September. Yes, my MRI is coming up this week. We are beginning our family fast Wednesday at noon and ending Thursday at noon. My MRI is Thursday morning. My results with the doctor is Friday morning at 10:00 a.m. All of you who would like to participate are welcome and appreciated. Your faith and prayers mean so much to me. Even those of you who I don't know about. The Lord will acknowledge your effort and will bless us both. I would be grateful for any of you who can make a call into any of the L.D.S. temples and put my name on the prayer rolls. I had a "friend" tell me the other day I should keep all this private "just in case" the results are not in my favor. Less would have to be said and explained in that case. I have responded to this thought before. I know there is always other possibilities to all events but this is how I must look at it and approach it. If you think and worry about what you do not want, believing that is the way to fix it or safeguard yourself, you are fooling yourself. The best way to get what you don't want is to think about it a lot, talk about it alot, and feel worried. It will show up and keep showing up. The best way to give yourself what you do want is to imagine it, get excited about it, allow it to happen, and express gratitude to God when it does. That's our hope!
Some other things that are going on this month that our family is looking forward to is our annual trip to Snowbird, Utah. We have some timeshare units up there in the Little Cottonwood canyon. It's a place our family meets together and shares a week of fun. On top of the excitement this year, our son Judson, who has been serving a mission for our church in Denver Colorado is finishing up his mission. His release date is September 25th. Since we will not be home, his mission president is flying him into Salt Lake to meet us while we are at Snowbird. We can all hardly wait! It has been two years since we have seen him. We get to email him once a week and talk to him twice a year on the phone, on Mother's Day and on Christmas Day. So you can see how special this will be for our family to get him together with us. Having a missionary serving the Lord and standing as a witness of Christ brings such wonderful blessings to a family. I will add our youngest son, Colton is now serving in Guatemala. He has been gone for four months.
In closing I want to leave a scripture out of the Book of Mormon with you.
It is found in 3 Nephi 14:7&8
"Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened."
Our life is good in so many ways. Thank-you for sharing part of you with us!
Love Janae
I have been excited for the month of September. Yes, my MRI is coming up this week. We are beginning our family fast Wednesday at noon and ending Thursday at noon. My MRI is Thursday morning. My results with the doctor is Friday morning at 10:00 a.m. All of you who would like to participate are welcome and appreciated. Your faith and prayers mean so much to me. Even those of you who I don't know about. The Lord will acknowledge your effort and will bless us both. I would be grateful for any of you who can make a call into any of the L.D.S. temples and put my name on the prayer rolls. I had a "friend" tell me the other day I should keep all this private "just in case" the results are not in my favor. Less would have to be said and explained in that case. I have responded to this thought before. I know there is always other possibilities to all events but this is how I must look at it and approach it. If you think and worry about what you do not want, believing that is the way to fix it or safeguard yourself, you are fooling yourself. The best way to get what you don't want is to think about it a lot, talk about it alot, and feel worried. It will show up and keep showing up. The best way to give yourself what you do want is to imagine it, get excited about it, allow it to happen, and express gratitude to God when it does. That's our hope!
Some other things that are going on this month that our family is looking forward to is our annual trip to Snowbird, Utah. We have some timeshare units up there in the Little Cottonwood canyon. It's a place our family meets together and shares a week of fun. On top of the excitement this year, our son Judson, who has been serving a mission for our church in Denver Colorado is finishing up his mission. His release date is September 25th. Since we will not be home, his mission president is flying him into Salt Lake to meet us while we are at Snowbird. We can all hardly wait! It has been two years since we have seen him. We get to email him once a week and talk to him twice a year on the phone, on Mother's Day and on Christmas Day. So you can see how special this will be for our family to get him together with us. Having a missionary serving the Lord and standing as a witness of Christ brings such wonderful blessings to a family. I will add our youngest son, Colton is now serving in Guatemala. He has been gone for four months.
In closing I want to leave a scripture out of the Book of Mormon with you.
It is found in 3 Nephi 14:7&8
"Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened."
Our life is good in so many ways. Thank-you for sharing part of you with us!
Love Janae
Monday, August 31, 2009
the girls
Hi, this is Bergen. I just wanted to post this picture of us girls. Doesn't Mom look FABULOUS?!We love to be together. We are the best of friends. I'm so grateful for the world's best Mom and sisters. Thank you for all your prayers and love - we are all doing great!Saturday, August 22, 2009
I have two fabulous events to share!!!
First: I want to thank all of you for helping me celebrate my birthday last Saturday. It was exactly what I was hoping for. A home full of family and friends! Sometimes I have wondered over the years, "how many friends do I really have?" I really do not spend much time with many people. You realize over the years of conversations, service, giving and receiving, and sharing that it is not always the time spent that qualitifies for a friend. It's the love that is cultured because of caring. I thank you for your effort in coming out and the precious cards and many gifts not expected. It lifted my spirits.
Secondly: As you know last week I had my MRI last Thursday. There is "a rest of the story" to it. Let me share it. I received a call late afternoon on Wednesday telling me that the MRI machine had been down for a few days. They were trying to get it up and working and thought that they had but they were in the process of testing it. A little nerve-wracking for me but nothing I could do. I knew many were fasting and praying for me and just wanted everything to fall properly into place......"Janae, come now!" They called me back early Thursday morning unsure still. Calvin informed them that if it wasn't ready by the afternoon we would be going up to the hospital to have it there instead. Well, that was motivating. They shortly returned his call and told him that I was first up and could come right in. Stacia came out and took me. After I got in there and was on the third and final set of pictures the machine stopped. They told me that they would give it 5 minutes and then would need to call the engineers to come in if need be. I was laying in there, silently praying to Heavenly Father to please complete this part of the process for me. Within 10 second the thing started rattling. The technician came on and said it was ready to go. We finished the MRI.
As I was leaving I mentioned to them that my appointment with Dr. Garrison was at 8:30 in the morning and I just wanted to make sure he would have the report by then because it was so late by now. They told me that he would have the entire series of pictures but not much of the written report from the interpreter.
Friday morning Calvin and I went in for our appointment. We waited in Garrison's office for over 45 minutes. I could hear him down the hall trying to contact the radialogy department and having a hard time getting a hold of Dr. Levitsky, the interpreter that did my report. My heart was racing with emotion by now. I looked over at Calvin and told him that I was feeling like my report was not in favor of what we were hoping. And then...as tears came to my eyes I told him that I just had a "prayer rush" from all of my loved ones! I could feel it all over my body. I knew many of you knew and remembered I was there, along with my family and that I was getting my results. It truly is a wonderful sense to be aware and tune in to the power of prayer. I cannot tell you the strength it has and continues to bring me. I also want you to know that I was thinking of this yesterday and know that many and most of you have your own trials and heartaches that may not be life-threatening on paper but can be devestating. I love you for being so unselffish and interested my well-being at this time. Such great people with hope and strength!
Back to my story.....Dr. Garrison came in shortly after that and said, "Well, they have all grown. It looks about like 25%. Would you like to see them?" "Yes." He showed us images of four of them. It was in sections, comparing my first films from July to the current ones. His program popped a compass measurement up along with a number. The numbers were about 25% different in increase. I was feeling somewhat sick to my stomach. After a conversation of numbers, and when we could expect a written report, the question he has been prompting me with all along came up. So what is the plan now? We are really concerned, Janae. I told him that I know he wants to help me but he is really not saving lives or providing any hope. I told him that I was not ready or willing to have radiation and chemo and I would continue my program which I had only been on for 5 weeks. I asked him how he thought I looked and was feeling compared to the rest of his cancer patients. He gave a slight smile and said, "You are great!" He left us there to wait for the copies of the images that we requested. Poor calvin. I looked over at him and he looked like someone had just smacked him with a brick. (It wasn't me!) Well, maybe it was because of me! I wanted to just stand up and love his guts. He has been so great to help my heart continue to have faith and hope. I thank him for his support that goes beyond.
We got in the elevator. I told Calvin, "Calvin, this is cancer. Lots of prayers and blessings are being felt but this not going to be that easy. We can do this. This is only the beginnning. This is a race of endurance not speed. We want and need both. I have never been the rabbit in the race. I don't really like the behavior of the crazy, slow, turtle either. So where do I fit? Now I can say, "it depends on the day." I'm great with that thought! Some days are slow for me when I wake up in the middle of the night and decide to think too much. It's actually a wonderful time to myself. I need to find a different time though!
After that I posted my blog out to you. Now, finally for my great event:
Calvin called me yesterday toward the end of his day and asked me if I was ready for some great new. Of course! I was thinking it had something to do with business...which also would have been fine. Great news is GREAT news! He had just received a phone call from Dr. Garrison saying that he had my MRI written report in his hand. It reports on the frontal lesion that has been removed and then mentions the other lesion on the right that has slightly increased from .06 to .09. And then exactly from my report......"other lesions are stable. No new lesions have appeared."
So, I now have 6 lesions/tumors that they can identify. One has grown slightly and the 5 are the same. GREAT NEWS! You may be thinking as I did, this is a serious mistake...it is! And it has been a week ago. I could have decided to jump into radiation by now or any other possiblity. Calvin has taken care of the "political part" of what you can imagine the conversatin to be if you know my husband. I am willing because of "need" to let that go. I want to celebrate "THE GREAT NEWS!" I want to celebrate it with you and once again tell you how much this joint effort from you that you are sharing with me means to me. I truly mean it. So many of you have sent me the most wonderful letters and cards and flowers...and then they come in a second wave from you same dear people in my life. It is such a comfort to sit down on the couch and slowly open each one and think of you and feel of your love, not just for me but the prayers for my entire family.
My next MRI is September 10th. I will remind you. I know that you can make a difference for me.
In closing I want to share my favorite hymn from our L.D.S. hymnal.
Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice
I draw myself apart, Searching my soul?
Where, when my aching grows, where when I languish
Where in my need to know where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand? He, only One.
He answers privately, reaches my reaching (my favorite phase)
In my Gethsemane, Savior, my friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching
Constant he is and kind, Love without end.
Have a fabulous week and know that you are all loved!
Janae White
First: I want to thank all of you for helping me celebrate my birthday last Saturday. It was exactly what I was hoping for. A home full of family and friends! Sometimes I have wondered over the years, "how many friends do I really have?" I really do not spend much time with many people. You realize over the years of conversations, service, giving and receiving, and sharing that it is not always the time spent that qualitifies for a friend. It's the love that is cultured because of caring. I thank you for your effort in coming out and the precious cards and many gifts not expected. It lifted my spirits.
Secondly: As you know last week I had my MRI last Thursday. There is "a rest of the story" to it. Let me share it. I received a call late afternoon on Wednesday telling me that the MRI machine had been down for a few days. They were trying to get it up and working and thought that they had but they were in the process of testing it. A little nerve-wracking for me but nothing I could do. I knew many were fasting and praying for me and just wanted everything to fall properly into place......"Janae, come now!" They called me back early Thursday morning unsure still. Calvin informed them that if it wasn't ready by the afternoon we would be going up to the hospital to have it there instead. Well, that was motivating. They shortly returned his call and told him that I was first up and could come right in. Stacia came out and took me. After I got in there and was on the third and final set of pictures the machine stopped. They told me that they would give it 5 minutes and then would need to call the engineers to come in if need be. I was laying in there, silently praying to Heavenly Father to please complete this part of the process for me. Within 10 second the thing started rattling. The technician came on and said it was ready to go. We finished the MRI.
As I was leaving I mentioned to them that my appointment with Dr. Garrison was at 8:30 in the morning and I just wanted to make sure he would have the report by then because it was so late by now. They told me that he would have the entire series of pictures but not much of the written report from the interpreter.
Friday morning Calvin and I went in for our appointment. We waited in Garrison's office for over 45 minutes. I could hear him down the hall trying to contact the radialogy department and having a hard time getting a hold of Dr. Levitsky, the interpreter that did my report. My heart was racing with emotion by now. I looked over at Calvin and told him that I was feeling like my report was not in favor of what we were hoping. And then...as tears came to my eyes I told him that I just had a "prayer rush" from all of my loved ones! I could feel it all over my body. I knew many of you knew and remembered I was there, along with my family and that I was getting my results. It truly is a wonderful sense to be aware and tune in to the power of prayer. I cannot tell you the strength it has and continues to bring me. I also want you to know that I was thinking of this yesterday and know that many and most of you have your own trials and heartaches that may not be life-threatening on paper but can be devestating. I love you for being so unselffish and interested my well-being at this time. Such great people with hope and strength!
Back to my story.....Dr. Garrison came in shortly after that and said, "Well, they have all grown. It looks about like 25%. Would you like to see them?" "Yes." He showed us images of four of them. It was in sections, comparing my first films from July to the current ones. His program popped a compass measurement up along with a number. The numbers were about 25% different in increase. I was feeling somewhat sick to my stomach. After a conversation of numbers, and when we could expect a written report, the question he has been prompting me with all along came up. So what is the plan now? We are really concerned, Janae. I told him that I know he wants to help me but he is really not saving lives or providing any hope. I told him that I was not ready or willing to have radiation and chemo and I would continue my program which I had only been on for 5 weeks. I asked him how he thought I looked and was feeling compared to the rest of his cancer patients. He gave a slight smile and said, "You are great!" He left us there to wait for the copies of the images that we requested. Poor calvin. I looked over at him and he looked like someone had just smacked him with a brick. (It wasn't me!) Well, maybe it was because of me! I wanted to just stand up and love his guts. He has been so great to help my heart continue to have faith and hope. I thank him for his support that goes beyond.
We got in the elevator. I told Calvin, "Calvin, this is cancer. Lots of prayers and blessings are being felt but this not going to be that easy. We can do this. This is only the beginnning. This is a race of endurance not speed. We want and need both. I have never been the rabbit in the race. I don't really like the behavior of the crazy, slow, turtle either. So where do I fit? Now I can say, "it depends on the day." I'm great with that thought! Some days are slow for me when I wake up in the middle of the night and decide to think too much. It's actually a wonderful time to myself. I need to find a different time though!
After that I posted my blog out to you. Now, finally for my great event:
Calvin called me yesterday toward the end of his day and asked me if I was ready for some great new. Of course! I was thinking it had something to do with business...which also would have been fine. Great news is GREAT news! He had just received a phone call from Dr. Garrison saying that he had my MRI written report in his hand. It reports on the frontal lesion that has been removed and then mentions the other lesion on the right that has slightly increased from .06 to .09. And then exactly from my report......"other lesions are stable. No new lesions have appeared."
So, I now have 6 lesions/tumors that they can identify. One has grown slightly and the 5 are the same. GREAT NEWS! You may be thinking as I did, this is a serious mistake...it is! And it has been a week ago. I could have decided to jump into radiation by now or any other possiblity. Calvin has taken care of the "political part" of what you can imagine the conversatin to be if you know my husband. I am willing because of "need" to let that go. I want to celebrate "THE GREAT NEWS!" I want to celebrate it with you and once again tell you how much this joint effort from you that you are sharing with me means to me. I truly mean it. So many of you have sent me the most wonderful letters and cards and flowers...and then they come in a second wave from you same dear people in my life. It is such a comfort to sit down on the couch and slowly open each one and think of you and feel of your love, not just for me but the prayers for my entire family.
My next MRI is September 10th. I will remind you. I know that you can make a difference for me.
In closing I want to share my favorite hymn from our L.D.S. hymnal.
Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice
I draw myself apart, Searching my soul?
Where, when my aching grows, where when I languish
Where in my need to know where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand? He, only One.
He answers privately, reaches my reaching (my favorite phase)
In my Gethsemane, Savior, my friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching
Constant he is and kind, Love without end.
Have a fabulous week and know that you are all loved!
Janae White
Friday, August 14, 2009
Good afternoon everyone. This is Janae. I'm not sure I need to introduce myself every time on this but guess I will. I got home from my appointment at 10:00. Dr. Garrison says the tumors have increased in size about 20-25%. It's not what we wanted to hear but I do have some understanding of it. I started with these tumors in the "negative". Doing all that I am doing takes a while for change....darn it. With my colonics treatments that have been so successful I feel that my body will be able to now begin to start working better to resolve some of this. I have to have my body enviroment prepared for it and that takes time. How long? Can't tell. The problem in the brian is that when it gets inflamed, there is no where for it to go which makes a worry for seizure and strokes.
I am feeling at peace with it still. I have been on the phone with Leona for the last 2 hours revising my program and adding some things...a new plan of attack. I know cancer is a journey of set backs. I cannot let it emotionally and spiritually do that to me. I need the faith, peace and energy to fight and push myself to do whatever I possibly can.
Thanks so much for all your prayers, you that participlated in the fasting process.....I love you so very much. Many of you are friends of my children and friends of friends. It is wonderful to have a network of great people, from many religions and walks of life that can extend their love and blessings to me and my ffamily at this time.
I will continue on in all I can do. I appreicate anything you are willing to continue to do for me.
Have a great day! And weekend!!!!
Janae
I am feeling at peace with it still. I have been on the phone with Leona for the last 2 hours revising my program and adding some things...a new plan of attack. I know cancer is a journey of set backs. I cannot let it emotionally and spiritually do that to me. I need the faith, peace and energy to fight and push myself to do whatever I possibly can.
Thanks so much for all your prayers, you that participlated in the fasting process.....I love you so very much. Many of you are friends of my children and friends of friends. It is wonderful to have a network of great people, from many religions and walks of life that can extend their love and blessings to me and my ffamily at this time.
I will continue on in all I can do. I appreicate anything you are willing to continue to do for me.
Have a great day! And weekend!!!!
Janae
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Hello to everyone! This is Janae. I really do write on this every morning around 3:00 a.m. when I should be asleep. I talk myself out of getting up becaz' I know that I will never get any rest. I do think of all of you and feel of your love and prayers for me and our family.
I am feeling great. I have been doing my program almost 5 weeks. My MRI has been moved up a day (Thursday) and results will be given me on Friday. We are starting a family/friends fast tomorrow, Wednesday at noon until Thursday morning at 10:00 a.m. All of you are welcome to join if you desire. I will let you know what I find out. I feel there will be some great changes even though it hasn't been a lot of time. In talking with Leona she said that no change is a good change becaz' that means we have stopped the growth. I will still continue on my program becaz' I feel so great. The only thing I am noticing is that throughout the end of my day as I get tired, talk too much....I struggle with my speech some. It makes me have to slow down and make my mouth move but it doesn't bother me. My family thinks its a good thing to have me a bit quiet. Imagine that!
Calvin and I went over to the temple on Saturday. What a wonderful place to spend the day, to receive answers and reassurance from our Heavenly Father.
I love the scripture in John 14:26-27
"But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your rememberance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
I feel so blessed to have been raised in the church as a child. To know that I have been born as a spirit child of God which makes us all spiritually brothers and sisters. I am so thankful to my parents who provided my earthly, mortal body for my spirit. I like my body. It has been a wonderful, hard-working vessel for me to accomplish many wonderful things in my life and become who I am. I even like my brian. It's mine! I know I have an opportunity to grow in faith and stengthen in my testimony through this expereince.
I was outside the other morning just finishing up my scripture reading. The sun was on the river. A beautiful morning as I comtemplated the magesty of God's handiwork in the creation. It made me stop and ask myself, "Where is heaven anyway?" Many years ago there was a song that was sung often throughout the church. We don't hear it hardly at all anymore. I went downstairs and dug up my music. I want to share the words with you as I sign off today.
WHERE IS HEAVEN?
I wish I could remember the days before my birth
And if I knew the Father before I came to earth.
In quiet moments when I'm all alone
I close my eyes and try to see my Heavenly home.
Where is Heaven? Is it very far?
I would like to know if it's beyond the brightest star.
Where is Heaven? Will you show the way?
I would like to learn and grow and go there someday.
I wish I could remember the Father's loving face
And all the friends and family that filled that holy place.
Was I a child there? Did I walk with God?
And was that where I learned about the Iron Rod?
Where is Heaven? Is it very far?
I would like to know if it's beyond the brightest star.
I've a feeling that it's not too far
When you're with the ones you love it's right where you are.
WHEN YOU'RE WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE IT'S RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.
Heaven on earth is truly found around those that you love. Protect your home and families. Maintain a spirit of love so we can all recieve the blessings that our Heavenly Father truly desires to send our way if we seek, look and respond to. I love you all so very much. I am so thankful for family and friends and the gospel that constantly protects my heart in my fight to recover.
Looking forward to sharing my results with you on Friday.
Janae
I am feeling great. I have been doing my program almost 5 weeks. My MRI has been moved up a day (Thursday) and results will be given me on Friday. We are starting a family/friends fast tomorrow, Wednesday at noon until Thursday morning at 10:00 a.m. All of you are welcome to join if you desire. I will let you know what I find out. I feel there will be some great changes even though it hasn't been a lot of time. In talking with Leona she said that no change is a good change becaz' that means we have stopped the growth. I will still continue on my program becaz' I feel so great. The only thing I am noticing is that throughout the end of my day as I get tired, talk too much....I struggle with my speech some. It makes me have to slow down and make my mouth move but it doesn't bother me. My family thinks its a good thing to have me a bit quiet. Imagine that!
Calvin and I went over to the temple on Saturday. What a wonderful place to spend the day, to receive answers and reassurance from our Heavenly Father.
I love the scripture in John 14:26-27
"But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your rememberance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
I feel so blessed to have been raised in the church as a child. To know that I have been born as a spirit child of God which makes us all spiritually brothers and sisters. I am so thankful to my parents who provided my earthly, mortal body for my spirit. I like my body. It has been a wonderful, hard-working vessel for me to accomplish many wonderful things in my life and become who I am. I even like my brian. It's mine! I know I have an opportunity to grow in faith and stengthen in my testimony through this expereince.
I was outside the other morning just finishing up my scripture reading. The sun was on the river. A beautiful morning as I comtemplated the magesty of God's handiwork in the creation. It made me stop and ask myself, "Where is heaven anyway?" Many years ago there was a song that was sung often throughout the church. We don't hear it hardly at all anymore. I went downstairs and dug up my music. I want to share the words with you as I sign off today.
WHERE IS HEAVEN?
I wish I could remember the days before my birth
And if I knew the Father before I came to earth.
In quiet moments when I'm all alone
I close my eyes and try to see my Heavenly home.
Where is Heaven? Is it very far?
I would like to know if it's beyond the brightest star.
Where is Heaven? Will you show the way?
I would like to learn and grow and go there someday.
I wish I could remember the Father's loving face
And all the friends and family that filled that holy place.
Was I a child there? Did I walk with God?
And was that where I learned about the Iron Rod?
Where is Heaven? Is it very far?
I would like to know if it's beyond the brightest star.
I've a feeling that it's not too far
When you're with the ones you love it's right where you are.
WHEN YOU'RE WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE IT'S RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.
Heaven on earth is truly found around those that you love. Protect your home and families. Maintain a spirit of love so we can all recieve the blessings that our Heavenly Father truly desires to send our way if we seek, look and respond to. I love you all so very much. I am so thankful for family and friends and the gospel that constantly protects my heart in my fight to recover.
Looking forward to sharing my results with you on Friday.
Janae
Friday, August 7, 2009
A party
Janae's birthday is Saturday, August 15th.
We figured so many people want to share their love with her, so
we're having a casual gathering early that evening from 4-6 p.m.
It will be at our home (4000 SR 28 Rock Island).
Come by to visit and give her a birthday hug!
P.S. This is NOT a surprise :)
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
True Love
It's me, Stacia. I hacked in here because today is a very special day.
Today is our parents 31st wedding anniversary!
I snuck around and found some great photos of my parents:
(i hope i can be forgiven) :)
Calvin & Janaemarried in the Manti temple
for time and all eternity
this had to be about 1984?
Dad getting a good laugh when we pulled offMom's surprise 40th b-day party
this one was last weekEach of us wanted to share our love and some memories about mom and dad - things we love and aspire to from their example in marriage and their dedication as parents:
I love the way my parents love each other! Seeing their love for each other and feeling their love for each of us always gave me security. I know that this one facet of my life is perfect. I had the greatest childhood. :) Regardless of how busy they were with work, with church responsibilities, with the 6 of us and the countless others who they reached out to serve, they always had plenty of love left over for each other! And they still love each other so completely! I hope to someday have a marriage that is as strong, as playful, as spiritually rooted and as loving as what they have worked to create!
Mom and Dad, i love you so very much!!! ~ Stacia
Although they aren't perfect, they have been perfect parents. Dad has guided me along in my life, teaching me invaluable lessons (sometimes against my will). He is someone I can go to with questions and for advice. Mom, simply put, has never let me down. Not ever. I credit her for my interest and talents in dance, music and poetry. Mom and Dad, along with the examples, talents and wisdom I've inherited from them, make me blessed and whole. I love you so much and wish you a wonderful anniversary! ~ Jared
I love the story of Dad chasing Mom around the couches and around the kitchen....this story will always make all of us laugh! I admire that Dad and Mom have ALWAYS gone on Friday night dates. We'd have pizza and stay up late. I'm so glad they made time for each other. Now I do that in my marriage thanks to their example. And every time Dad comes home, they kiss. Usually in the kitchen. When I was in Jr. High I remember them kissing for a long time - and in front of my friends!!! It didn't matter to them. I was so embarassed, but looking back, I am now so proud of their love and devotion to each other! A perfect and balanced marriage that I strive to emulate in every way. Happy Anniversary, Dad and Mom! I love you tons and tons! xoxoxo Bergen
Congratulations Mom and Dad on 31 years of happiness! I am thankful for your great example of having fun with each other. I love that you still chase each other around the kitchen and down the halls at home. Home has been my center and I am thankful I have always wanted to be there with you! All my love to you both, Monique Paige
Well, it's easy to explain how Mom and Dad are with just one word. LOVING! Throughout my childhood, always seeing my mother and father demonstrating their love for each of us and for each other has taught me so much about love. I have been fortified and strengthened in my testimony of my savior and his love for me through the love my parents have for each other and for my siblings and i. Happy Anniversary Dad and Mom! Elder Colton White
Mom and Dad, thanks for showing us and teaching us what true love is all about, what it's made of, and that it never ends!!!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Hi everyone, this is Janae. Stacia put this blog together for me and so I guess it's time to get the act together and learn how to run it. After reading the posts (is that the right word?) on it, I think I will like it. Your words have made me happy and I must say I have felt the strength of your prayers for me and my family.
I want to give you an update or just some information on what I am doing. I have brain cancer. They see 17 tumors and assume they are in the layers of my brain. Brain cancer comes from another source of cancer in the body. They cannot find any other cancer anywhere in me which I feel is good news, but they are still leary. Two weeks ago they removed the biggest tumor. It was 1.26cm, in the front on the surface, not attached to anything that would affect my motorskills. It was malignant. They immediately told me that my best treatment would be to have my entire brain radiated, use the gamma knife on a few of them later, and then add some chemo to the rest of my body. This is the treatment that they strongly recommended but added there is really no hope for me because I have so many. We all know close friends and family who recieve news like this but believe me, there is nothing like it when it's you receiving a death sentence. As ugly as it was I thought to myself, "I'm not going to let fear or the medical system chase me into this. It's my life!" Radiation will shrivel my brain like a walnut and leave me nothing left to fight with. Could I really consider that as an option? I was told, "Well, there is really no hope in cancer." I told them that I would gather my information, pray about my decision and get back to them, which they reminded me that I needed to hurry.
Through a wonderful unknown miracle last year we were given a name of a woman who is a Iridologist, Nutritionist and Herbologist. She has the best cancer treatment in the world and lives right in Puyallup. We went over and met with her. Incredible! She not only has thousands of wonderful happy stories (not endings) but uses the word "recovery". As we listened to her for 3 hours I was trying to listen to my feelings..... of just wanting the hope she was enlightening me with, or was it the spirit answering my prayers and letting me know that she would be my resource and option over radiation and chemo. I was overwhelmed to tears as I left her. She was so interested in saving my life after spending such a short time with me. How could I turn my heart away from the principles of faith and hope and most importantly the powers of the Lord and the priesthood? I know the medical world knows no other way. They are not in charge of my life unless I approve. With no hope why would I go that direction. It's my privilege and blessing to be the agent of my body.
We left there and ran up to the University of Washington to meet with Dr. Rockhill who specializes in brain melanomas. He didn't mince words. He told me he had seen my scans and visited with the doctors over here and agreed with them on my treatment. He said, "Janae you are in stage 4 of cancer. I will give you a little more time because you have never smoked, drank, or participated in drugs. I looked at him and told him, "I have a great life. I have been very blessed with many miracles and wonderful things in my life and if I don't have hope or faith then I can't continue to ask for miracles. You have nothing to offer me." He told me if I went home and did nothing my time was short. I was not going to go home and "do nothing."
I started Leona's program 14 days ago today. It is somewhat complicated but fabulous. I feel great! I feel better than I have all year. My program consumes my entire day. It's exciting and fun for me to be proactive. I am feeling and seeing all kinds of wonderful changes. My only physical changes are a little bit of shaved hair on my head from my surgery and some weight loss....not because I have cancer but because I am on a "cancer-free" food program. Think twice before you ask me for it!!!!!
This is a special time in my life. People share and say things that are sacred when they think you are going to die. I have had a huge support group and love from my children. Bergen has been here from Boise. I was able to be with Monique as she delivered Kennedy on Tuesday. Stacia has put together pictures of beautiful flowers and so many wonderful cards (from so many wonderful caring people...many of YOU) in a scrapbook for me to always enjoy. Jared has been doing anything to pull the rest together. I am busy, happy and experiencing some of the best tender mercies of my life right now.
Please do not feel neglected when I don't return phone calls. I do appreciate your concern and love. I really do. Cancer is something you take on your body, spirit and mind in phases. It reminds me of a infant, then the terrible 2's that you want to skip over then the rationilizing with a 4 year old and on and on. No phase can be skipped. Each one has it's challenges and rewards and must be dealt with.
I feel so very blessed. I liked the "Old Janae." I wasn't perfect by a long run. I knew the importance of charity and many wonderful spiritual gifts I feel the Lord blessed me with. But I have become a "New Janae" and I like her better. Do not feel sorry for me. I need your faith. I need your blessing. I need your prayers and will humbly continue to ask for them. I feel I know now why I have taught Seminary for almost 9 years. It has been the foundation to my faith and understanding in making my decisions as of late. Look at all the wonderful examples of faith in the scriptures. We must be loyal to the Lord in adversity. My scan will be August 14. That will be a big day for me.
My true comfort is found in prayer and my scriptures. Look a couple of these up:
Genesis 1:29-31 Talks about the herbs and bearing of seed and the fruit yielding seed, wherein there is life. And God saw EVERY thing that he had made, it was VERY good.
Abraham 4:29-31
Moses 2:29-13
Doctrine and Covenatns 104:17
Alma 46:40,41
I will keep in touch. I love you all. Have a fabulous day! I'll see some of you in church tomorrow!
Janae
I want to give you an update or just some information on what I am doing. I have brain cancer. They see 17 tumors and assume they are in the layers of my brain. Brain cancer comes from another source of cancer in the body. They cannot find any other cancer anywhere in me which I feel is good news, but they are still leary. Two weeks ago they removed the biggest tumor. It was 1.26cm, in the front on the surface, not attached to anything that would affect my motorskills. It was malignant. They immediately told me that my best treatment would be to have my entire brain radiated, use the gamma knife on a few of them later, and then add some chemo to the rest of my body. This is the treatment that they strongly recommended but added there is really no hope for me because I have so many. We all know close friends and family who recieve news like this but believe me, there is nothing like it when it's you receiving a death sentence. As ugly as it was I thought to myself, "I'm not going to let fear or the medical system chase me into this. It's my life!" Radiation will shrivel my brain like a walnut and leave me nothing left to fight with. Could I really consider that as an option? I was told, "Well, there is really no hope in cancer." I told them that I would gather my information, pray about my decision and get back to them, which they reminded me that I needed to hurry.
Through a wonderful unknown miracle last year we were given a name of a woman who is a Iridologist, Nutritionist and Herbologist. She has the best cancer treatment in the world and lives right in Puyallup. We went over and met with her. Incredible! She not only has thousands of wonderful happy stories (not endings) but uses the word "recovery". As we listened to her for 3 hours I was trying to listen to my feelings..... of just wanting the hope she was enlightening me with, or was it the spirit answering my prayers and letting me know that she would be my resource and option over radiation and chemo. I was overwhelmed to tears as I left her. She was so interested in saving my life after spending such a short time with me. How could I turn my heart away from the principles of faith and hope and most importantly the powers of the Lord and the priesthood? I know the medical world knows no other way. They are not in charge of my life unless I approve. With no hope why would I go that direction. It's my privilege and blessing to be the agent of my body.
We left there and ran up to the University of Washington to meet with Dr. Rockhill who specializes in brain melanomas. He didn't mince words. He told me he had seen my scans and visited with the doctors over here and agreed with them on my treatment. He said, "Janae you are in stage 4 of cancer. I will give you a little more time because you have never smoked, drank, or participated in drugs. I looked at him and told him, "I have a great life. I have been very blessed with many miracles and wonderful things in my life and if I don't have hope or faith then I can't continue to ask for miracles. You have nothing to offer me." He told me if I went home and did nothing my time was short. I was not going to go home and "do nothing."
I started Leona's program 14 days ago today. It is somewhat complicated but fabulous. I feel great! I feel better than I have all year. My program consumes my entire day. It's exciting and fun for me to be proactive. I am feeling and seeing all kinds of wonderful changes. My only physical changes are a little bit of shaved hair on my head from my surgery and some weight loss....not because I have cancer but because I am on a "cancer-free" food program. Think twice before you ask me for it!!!!!
This is a special time in my life. People share and say things that are sacred when they think you are going to die. I have had a huge support group and love from my children. Bergen has been here from Boise. I was able to be with Monique as she delivered Kennedy on Tuesday. Stacia has put together pictures of beautiful flowers and so many wonderful cards (from so many wonderful caring people...many of YOU) in a scrapbook for me to always enjoy. Jared has been doing anything to pull the rest together. I am busy, happy and experiencing some of the best tender mercies of my life right now.
Please do not feel neglected when I don't return phone calls. I do appreciate your concern and love. I really do. Cancer is something you take on your body, spirit and mind in phases. It reminds me of a infant, then the terrible 2's that you want to skip over then the rationilizing with a 4 year old and on and on. No phase can be skipped. Each one has it's challenges and rewards and must be dealt with.
I feel so very blessed. I liked the "Old Janae." I wasn't perfect by a long run. I knew the importance of charity and many wonderful spiritual gifts I feel the Lord blessed me with. But I have become a "New Janae" and I like her better. Do not feel sorry for me. I need your faith. I need your blessing. I need your prayers and will humbly continue to ask for them. I feel I know now why I have taught Seminary for almost 9 years. It has been the foundation to my faith and understanding in making my decisions as of late. Look at all the wonderful examples of faith in the scriptures. We must be loyal to the Lord in adversity. My scan will be August 14. That will be a big day for me.
My true comfort is found in prayer and my scriptures. Look a couple of these up:
Genesis 1:29-31 Talks about the herbs and bearing of seed and the fruit yielding seed, wherein there is life. And God saw EVERY thing that he had made, it was VERY good.
Abraham 4:29-31
Moses 2:29-13
Doctrine and Covenatns 104:17
Alma 46:40,41
I will keep in touch. I love you all. Have a fabulous day! I'll see some of you in church tomorrow!
Janae
Friday, July 24, 2009
Introducing:
Kennedy Paige Lott
8 lbs, 7 oz and 20.5" long
born July 21st, 2009
Monique and Byron introducing Bentley to his new little sister
Grandma and Kennedy
She is just a doll! We're so happy to have her here and in our family!Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Pressing on
We hope that this blog allows for a better connection for those of you who wish to be part of our lives. This will be a place you can come to recieve information and to share your love.
After Janae's biopsy, we learned she has malignant melanoma. After much research and consulting, we feel best about alternative treatment and she is doing well with her program. She has been strong and consistent and says she feels better about it each day. She will be tested again in a few weeks to see how her body is responding to this.
Each day she cherishes the cards and emails she recieves and counts your love for her as a wonderful blessing and a source of comfort and strength. She is grateful for the place each of you have in her heart. We appreciate your continued love and prayers on her behalf and are so thankful for the outpouring of love that each of us in our family have felt at this time!
We are so blessed to have each of you!
Much love, The White Family
After Janae's biopsy, we learned she has malignant melanoma. After much research and consulting, we feel best about alternative treatment and she is doing well with her program. She has been strong and consistent and says she feels better about it each day. She will be tested again in a few weeks to see how her body is responding to this.
Janae is doing her best to rest and strengthen her immune system. This is vital to her treatment. With all that has happened over the last few weeks, she has been exhausted physically, mentally and mostly, emotionally.
There have been many, many people calling and wanting to talk with her or come and visit her. Being so caught up in shock and emotions at first, we had no time to set boundaries. However, at this time we ask that you send your love and thoughts to her either by email, cards or by leaving comments on this blog. All of these options are wonderful and reliable avenues to show your love and support.
Each day she cherishes the cards and emails she recieves and counts your love for her as a wonderful blessing and a source of comfort and strength. She is grateful for the place each of you have in her heart. We appreciate your continued love and prayers on her behalf and are so thankful for the outpouring of love that each of us in our family have felt at this time!
We are so blessed to have each of you!
Much love, The White Family
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)