Hi everyone, this is Janae. Stacia put this blog together for me and so I guess it's time to get the act together and learn how to run it. After reading the posts (is that the right word?) on it, I think I will like it. Your words have made me happy and I must say I have felt the strength of your prayers for me and my family.

I want to give you an update or just some information on what I am doing. I have brain cancer. They see 17 tumors and assume they are in the layers of my brain. Brain cancer comes from another source of cancer in the body. They cannot find any other cancer anywhere in me which I feel is good news, but they are still leary. Two weeks ago they removed the biggest tumor. It was 1.26cm, in the front on the surface, not attached to anything that would affect my motorskills. It was malignant. They immediately told me that my best treatment would be to have my entire brain radiated, use the gamma knife on a few of them later, and then add some chemo to the rest of my body. This is the treatment that they strongly recommended but added there is really no hope for me because I have so many. We all know close friends and family who recieve news like this but believe me, there is nothing like it when it's you receiving a death sentence. As ugly as it was I thought to myself, "I'm not going to let fear or the medical system chase me into this. It's my life!" Radiation will shrivel my brain like a walnut and leave me nothing left to fight with. Could I really consider that as an option? I was told, "Well, there is really no hope in cancer." I told them that I would gather my information, pray about my decision and get back to them, which they reminded me that I needed to hurry.

Through a wonderful unknown miracle last year we were given a name of a woman who is a Iridologist, Nutritionist and Herbologist. She has the best cancer treatment in the world and lives right in Puyallup. We went over and met with her. Incredible! She not only has thousands of wonderful happy stories (not endings) but uses the word "recovery". As we listened to her for 3 hours I was trying to listen to my feelings..... of just wanting the hope she was enlightening me with, or was it the spirit answering my prayers and letting me know that she would be my resource and option over radiation and chemo. I was overwhelmed to tears as I left her. She was so interested in saving my life after spending such a short time with me. How could I turn my heart away from the principles of faith and hope and most importantly the powers of the Lord and the priesthood? I know the medical world knows no other way. They are not in charge of my life unless I approve. With no hope why would I go that direction. It's my privilege and blessing to be the agent of my body.

We left there and ran up to the University of Washington to meet with Dr. Rockhill who specializes in brain melanomas. He didn't mince words. He told me he had seen my scans and visited with the doctors over here and agreed with them on my treatment. He said, "Janae you are in stage 4 of cancer. I will give you a little more time because you have never smoked, drank, or participated in drugs. I looked at him and told him, "I have a great life. I have been very blessed with many miracles and wonderful things in my life and if I don't have hope or faith then I can't continue to ask for miracles. You have nothing to offer me." He told me if I went home and did nothing my time was short. I was not going to go home and "do nothing."

I started Leona's program 14 days ago today. It is somewhat complicated but fabulous. I feel great! I feel better than I have all year. My program consumes my entire day. It's exciting and fun for me to be proactive. I am feeling and seeing all kinds of wonderful changes. My only physical changes are a little bit of shaved hair on my head from my surgery and some weight loss....not because I have cancer but because I am on a "cancer-free" food program. Think twice before you ask me for it!!!!!

This is a special time in my life. People share and say things that are sacred when they think you are going to die. I have had a huge support group and love from my children. Bergen has been here from Boise. I was able to be with Monique as she delivered Kennedy on Tuesday. Stacia has put together pictures of beautiful flowers and so many wonderful cards (from so many wonderful caring people...many of YOU) in a scrapbook for me to always enjoy. Jared has been doing anything to pull the rest together. I am busy, happy and experiencing some of the best tender mercies of my life right now.

Please do not feel neglected when I don't return phone calls. I do appreciate your concern and love. I really do. Cancer is something you take on your body, spirit and mind in phases. It reminds me of a infant, then the terrible 2's that you want to skip over then the rationilizing with a 4 year old and on and on. No phase can be skipped. Each one has it's challenges and rewards and must be dealt with.

I feel so very blessed. I liked the "Old Janae." I wasn't perfect by a long run. I knew the importance of charity and many wonderful spiritual gifts I feel the Lord blessed me with. But I have become a "New Janae" and I like her better. Do not feel sorry for me. I need your faith. I need your blessing. I need your prayers and will humbly continue to ask for them. I feel I know now why I have taught Seminary for almost 9 years. It has been the foundation to my faith and understanding in making my decisions as of late. Look at all the wonderful examples of faith in the scriptures. We must be loyal to the Lord in adversity. My scan will be August 14. That will be a big day for me.

My true comfort is found in prayer and my scriptures. Look a couple of these up:

Genesis 1:29-31 Talks about the herbs and bearing of seed and the fruit yielding seed, wherein there is life. And God saw EVERY thing that he had made, it was VERY good.
Abraham 4:29-31
Moses 2:29-13
Doctrine and Covenatns 104:17
Alma 46:40,41

I will keep in touch. I love you all. Have a fabulous day! I'll see some of you in church tomorrow!
Janae